Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#people #choices

These days, a group of individuals think that we have so many choices

due to

the advancement of technology. I firmly agree with

this

statement because of

Correct article usage

the availabilities

show examples

availabilities

Fix the agreement mistake

availability

show examples

any

Change preposition

of any

show examples

kind of product throughout the world. To start with, before

this

technological enhancement we were able to buy any products from only local stores but now we can order from home because of the growth of modern culture and technology.

For example

, there was a farmer who was only able to buy some groceries from the city market,

therefore

, he

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

to travel to the city which was far from his home but now

due to

the advancement of technology he just

order

Change the verb form

orders

show examples

groceries

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

market and he

don't

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doesn't

show examples

have to go to the city to buy his products.

Moreover

, I eagerly believe that in future we may acquire all the stuff that

needed

Add a missing verb

is needed

show examples

imidiately

Correct your spelling

immediately

before the ultimate time.

For instance

, in

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

so many food

delivery

provider

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providers

show examples

offering

Wrong verb form

offer

show examples

instant

delivery

via drones, which

made

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makes

show examples

the

delivery

system more

efficiently

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efficient

show examples

and customers are more delightful than traditional

delivery

system

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systems

show examples

. In

concusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

although

, we have many choices and opportunities

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

also

contains some drawbacks, our previous generations

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

able to live longer than us and happily lived as well,

but

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apply

show examples

these days because of easy availabilities made people so lazy and they

are not motivate

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do not motivate

show examples

themselves to go for work or do any productive innovation.

Hence

, we must

acknowldge

Correct your spelling

acknowledge

that the development of our modern

culter

Correct your spelling

culture

might lead to a suffocating social environment

that is

why we must

aware

Add a missing verb

be aware

show examples

this

issue,

also

we must dominate our laziness over health and fitness.

Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on Mon Nov 04 2024

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task response

Try to provide a clearer and more concise introduction. Clearly define whether you agree or disagree with the statement and briefly outline your main points.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to logically structure your essay. Use clear paragraphing and transitions to link your ideas effectively.

task response

Ensure to support your arguments with more specific and relevant examples. Providing real-world scenarios can strengthen your argument.

task response

You provided a good foundation by mentioning the impact of technological advancements on choices.

task response

Your examples, although needing specificity, help in illustrating the points made.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a conclusion which attempts to summarize the key points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

You Are due to give a talk to you through about the danger of smoking, but you cannot now do so. Write a letter to the youth group leader, explain that you cannot come. Apologise for your absence. Suggest a new occasion.

You recently read an article in the newspaper about someone whom you know personally but have not heard from in a long time. You found that some of the information published was incorrect.