Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
These days, a group of individuals think that we have so many choices
due to
the advancement of technology. I firmly agree with this
statement because of Correct article usage
the availabilities
availabilities
Fix the agreement mistake
availability
any
kind of product throughout the world.
To start with, before Change preposition
of any
this
technological enhancement we were able to buy any products from only local stores but now we can order from home because of the growth of modern culture and technology. For example
, there was a farmer who was only able to buy some groceries from the city market, therefore
, he has
to travel to the city which was far from his home but now Wrong verb form
had
due to
the advancement of technology he just order
groceries Change the verb form
orders
from
Change preposition
apply
online
market and he Add an article
the online
don't
have to go to the city to buy his products.
Change the verb form
doesn't
Moreover
, I eagerly believe that in future we may acquire all the stuff that needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
imidiately
before the ultimate time. Correct your spelling
immediately
For instance
, in USA
so many food Correct article usage
the USA
delivery
provider
Fix the agreement mistake
providers
offering
instant Wrong verb form
offer
delivery
via drones, which made
the Wrong verb form
makes
delivery
system more efficiently
and customers are more delightful than traditional Change the word
efficient
delivery
system
.
In Fix the agreement mistake
systems
concusion
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
although
, we have many choices and opportunities but
it Remove the conjunction
apply
also
contains some drawbacks, our previous generations was
able to live longer than us and happily lived as well, Correct subject-verb agreement
were
but
these days because of easy availabilities made people so lazy and they Remove the conjunction
apply
are not motivate
themselves to go for work or do any productive innovation. Change the verb form
do not motivate
Hence
, we must acknowldge
that the development of our modern Correct your spelling
acknowledge
culter
might lead to a suffocating social environment Correct your spelling
culture
that is
why we must aware
of Add a missing verb
be aware
this
issue, also
we must dominate our laziness over health and fitness.Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on
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task response
Try to provide a clearer and more concise introduction. Clearly define whether you agree or disagree with the statement and briefly outline your main points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to logically structure your essay. Use clear paragraphing and transitions to link your ideas effectively.
task response
Ensure to support your arguments with more specific and relevant examples. Providing real-world scenarios can strengthen your argument.
task response
You provided a good foundation by mentioning the impact of technological advancements on choices.
task response
Your examples, although needing specificity, help in illustrating the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a conclusion which attempts to summarize the key points discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.