IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given graph shows us information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
General
Add an article
The general
A general
show examples
 trend is increasing, but amateur dramatics
is
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 decreasing
while
Linking Words
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. The
people
Use synonyms
 of Melbourne participate in a lot of art
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 and sports. Through
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
ages
Add a comma
ages,
show examples
 they
are
Verb problem
became
show examples
 interested in table tennis and lost interest in amateur dramatics. Participation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club in ten years
doesn't
Verb problem
hasn't
show examples
 really
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 and it is stable. The interest of
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 martial arts is not different for
overall
Linking Words
 twenty years. The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of participants for
ameteur
Correct your spelling
amateur
 dramatics is decreasing. In 2020
people
Use synonyms
 who are joining activities are about 25, but in 2020
this
Linking Words
 number is about 5.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of the
21th
Change the ending
21st
show examples
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
 the least participation
is
Verb problem
was in
show examples
 table tennis and it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 about 18
people
Use synonyms
. But in 2020
this
Linking Words
 activity is loved by
people
Use synonyms
 and it is about 55
people
Use synonyms
. In 2005
people
Use synonyms
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 joining
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
musical performances, and
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 numbers are getting higher.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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