Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?
There is no denying the fact that mobile
phones
are playing a major role in our lives. While
it is a commonly held belief that there are many benefits to us from phones
. It is also
an argument there are disadvantages to using a phone
. this
essay will analyze the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand
like we said before there are a lot of benefits of using Add a comma
hand,
phones
, like how contact with others becomes more esay
. Correct your spelling
easy
essay
In other
words
social media Add a comma
words,
make
it more esay to make new friends from different countries, Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
for example
, learn
more about their culture, Wrong verb form
learning
tradition
and using a Correct word choice
and tradition
phone
make
learning and working online more flexible Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
for example
using black bord
to take your class. Correct your spelling
board
On the other hand
, of course, like we have advantages we have also
disadvantages. It is also
possible to say that we do not have private space everyone can know where we are or if we travel or not, and when we vast each other we sit watching our phones
, moreover
also
as a small family they talk less even children thay
stay all the day playing in them parents' Correct your spelling
they
phone
and same times kids having there private phone
. For
instance
it makes children have new diseases like Add a comma
instance,
spaking
problems and more electricity in their minds. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to Correct your spelling
speaking
this
question, on balance, however
, I tend to believe that, we should to useing
Verb problem
use
phones
balance there are no right answers.Submitted by mona11omar33 on
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Task Achievement
Aim for more detailed and specific examples to further highlight your points. This will add depth to your arguments and provide a clearer understanding for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious of sentence fragments, such as 'while it is a commonly held belief that there are many benefits to us from phones.' Ensure each sentence is complete to improve clarity.
Task Achievement
There are several spelling and grammatical errors such as 'more esay' which should be 'easier,' 'spaking problems' instead of 'speaking problems,' and 'thay stay all the day' instead of 'they stay all day.' Review and correct these inaccuracies to improve readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction that sets out the topic and the main points that will be discussed.
Task Achievement
You effectively cover both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, providing a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion acknowledges the complexity of the issue while leaning towards a balanced approach to mobile phone usage.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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