In some countries, people encourage the children to get a job or to travel after this country education what are the advantage and disadvantage?

Every parent has a distinctive perspective about choosing certain assets for their juveniles. There is a heated argument over the decision of the modern
motherand
Correct your spelling
mother and
father who favours that their kids will do any sort of work after schooling or enjoy life in travelling. In
this
essay, both the pros and cons will be discussed for
this
matter. On the one hand,
this
decision of caretakers provides several benefits.
Firstly
, children were able to receive practical knowledge by working with the experts in the company. Very early age, minors can gain hands-on experience that assists them in exploring more career insights in the upcoming future
moreover
,
this
addition of learning years has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
backed
Replace the word
backing
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on the resumes as it makes a
person
stronger than others in the interviews who have less group over the
skills
.
Thus
, an individual can build effective problem-solving
skills
, time management, and effective communication in the initial career stage of
a work
Remove the article
work
a job
show examples
. to illustrate, a survey conducted by the World Employment Agency (WEA) about 70% of the pupil
of
Change preposition
in
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America
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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jobs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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multi-international companies before finishing their graduation ceremony.
Secondly
, financial literacy is another advantage of
this
trend.
Adolescence
Fix the agreement mistake
Adolescents
show examples
not only earn money but
also
learn to manage their expenses.
In addition
, young people become more aware of budgeting
skills
at
this
age. Period. As
this
kind of environment educates them, some valuable lessons like savings for future assets, to clear educational depth.
Therefore
, these qualities seek the
overall
development of an individual.
Furthermore
, travelling is the best way to explore divorce
,
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apply
show examples
and
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
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heritage of any country. Kids who spend time on the trips would get exposure to the unique traditions and rituals of various nations.
This
provides excellent changes in human behaviour as social interactions make a
person
open- minded, build confidence and adaptability,
according to
others. So, it is only possible if a
person
earns money that brings the power of self-reliance.
On the other hand
,
this
change in the living styles brings some drawbacks. First is a delay in higher education. Creating gaps or postponing
post education
Add a hyphen
post-education
show examples
creates Academy interruptions. Even though
,
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apply
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part-time learning is available, it still lacks the proper full-time classroom structural learning.
further
Rephrase
Furthermore
show examples
, stagnations in the courier are noticed in these jobseekers.
This
entry-level job has little long-term advantage.
Instead
, it only delayed career growth as a
person
would not get any promotions
due to
his or her law qualification.
As a result
, professional growth is minimized.
Additionally
, a lack of accomplishments in the ongoing work will lead to several ups and downs.
As the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
unpredictable income of these temporary jobs cannot support tour finances or others.
Consequently
, people get caught in these financial drains.
Overall
, it is evident that both sides of her valid points, but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Therefore
, it is not essential to get a job offer after pursuing
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
show examples
in a specific field, as it only depends upon the child's learning
skills
.
Submitted by sarabjeetk8899 on

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task response
Ensure that examples used are relevant and specifically support the points being made. In your essay, consider using specific examples that directly correlate with the advantages or disadvantages being discussed, rather than general statistics or unrelated surveys.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, working on sentence transitions will help make the reading experience smoother.
task response
The essay effectively covers both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, presenting a complete response.
coherence and cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are clearly present, which helps frame the discussion effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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