Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages of both approaches. which do you think is a better approach?

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Employment plays an important role in
people
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people's
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lives.
However
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,there are some people who
works
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work
show examples
for themselves rather than companies and big corporations.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that
masses
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the masses
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who
prefered
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prefer
to do
business
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gain more benefits than doing
job
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the job
a job
show examples
.In the impending paragraphs,
this
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essay will examine
pros
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the pros
show examples
and cons of
this
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phenomenon
along with
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my opinion. Let us examine the positive aspects of
self -employed
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self-employed
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. First and foremost, when an individual
open
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opens
show examples
his or her
business
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they
earn
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earns
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more
money
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as
compare
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compared
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to
fix
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fixed
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salary.
Moreover
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, a person can work
in
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on
show examples
flexible
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a flexible
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schedule because they have
a
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the
show examples
power to run their
businessand
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business and
decide their work timings.To cite an example,
a
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apply
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research conducted by
University
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the University
show examples
of British
Coloumbia
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Columbia
in
year
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the year
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2012 claims that 70% of people were found more happy and live
self esteemed
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self-esteemed
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life
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because they work for themselves and earn good profits.
On the other hand
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. Let us delve deeper
in
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into
show examples
positives
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the positives
show examples
for
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of
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doing
job
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the job
a job
show examples
.
Firstly
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, when
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business
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
goes into loss individual do not has to
face
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finacial
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financial
crisis in their lives and
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moreover
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moreover,
show examples
they
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donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
go to stress related
disease
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diseases
show examples
because they
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donot
Correct your spelling
do not
invested
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invest
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their
hard earned
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hard-earned
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money
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
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side. let us shed some light
in
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on
show examples
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
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of doing
business
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.First ,when an individual opens any adventure they have to
invested
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invest
show examples
big chunks of
money
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to run their
business
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smoothly.
In addition
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to
this
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, they may take
loan
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loans
show examples
from the banks to meet the demands of the market
thus
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the dark side if
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
may fail they will
loose
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lose
show examples
their
money
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and
face
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financial
Correct article usage
a financial
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crisis in
their
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the
show examples
future
life
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. An article published
my
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by
show examples
Benjamin Bradlee in
the
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apply
show examples
Washigton
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Washington
on 'MARKET' asserted that 10%
humans
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of humans
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face
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serious
consquences
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consequences
and fall
in
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into
show examples
debt when they do not
paid
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pay
show examples
their loans on time. In
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additionally
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addition
show examples
, working in companies
some times
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sometimes
show examples
a person
faced
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face
show examples
racism and monotonous and even they break up their relations with their
close knit
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close-knit
show examples
friends and relatives because they
Use synonyms
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
spend time with their family and friends .
Hence
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, their social
life
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disturbed
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is disturbed
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
their time management. To
recaptulate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
, it can be summed up without a doubt open a
business
Use synonyms
a person can earn more
money
Use synonyms
as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
.On the dark side , and with my observations I firmly
believes
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believe
show examples
that
individual
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individuals
show examples
may
face
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a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
debt in their future
life
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and may
faced
Change the verb form
face
show examples
financial crisis if
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
Use synonyms
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
run efficiently.
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the prompt; while you discussed the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment and working for companies, your personal opinion needs to be more explicitly stated and elaborated upon in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical paragraph transitions and connections between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion. Try to use linking words or phrases to make the relationship between sentences and ideas clearer.
task achievement
Develop main points with more specific examples and details for a clearer and more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and punctuation to further improve clarity. Some sentences were difficult to follow due to minor grammatical issues, like subject-verb agreement.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment and working for companies.
coherence cohesion
Introduction effectively sets the scope of the essay, and the conclusion brings the discussion to a close.
task achievement
Usage of statistics and references, like the University of British Columbia study, adds credibility to the points presented.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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