Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages of both approaches. which do you think is a better approach?
Employment plays an important role in
people
lives.Change noun form
people's
However
,there are some people who works
for themselves rather than companies and big corporations.Change the verb form
work
Nevertheless
, I believe that masses
who Correct article usage
the masses
prefered
to do Correct your spelling
prefer
business
gain more benefits than doing job
.In the impending paragraphs, Add an article
the job
a job
this
essay will examine pros
and cons of Correct article usage
the pros
this
phenomenon along with
my opinion.
Let us examine the positive aspects of self -employed
. First and foremost, when an individual Correct your spelling
self-employed
open
his or her Change the verb form
opens
business
they earn
more Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
money
as compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
fix
salary.Wrong verb form
fixed
Moreover
, a person can work in
Change preposition
on
flexible
schedule because they have Correct article usage
a flexible
a
power to run their Change the article
the
businessand
decide their work timings.To cite an example,Correct your spelling
business and
a
research conducted by Correct article usage
apply
University
of British Correct article usage
the University
Coloumbia
in Correct your spelling
Columbia
year
2012 claims that 70% of people were found more happy and live Change the article
the year
self esteemed
Add a hyphen
self-esteemed
life
because they work for themselves and earn good profits.
On the other hand
. Let us delve deeper in
Change preposition
into
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
for
doing Change preposition
of
job
. Add an article
the job
a job
Firstly
, when business
goes into loss individual do not has to Add an article
a business
the business
face
finacial
crisis in their lives and Correct your spelling
financial
moreover
they Add a comma
moreover,
donot
go to stress related Correct your spelling
do not
don't
disease
because they Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
invested
their Wrong verb form
invest
hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
money
.
On the contrary
side. let us shed some light in
Change preposition
on
cons
of doing Correct article usage
the cons
business
.First ,when an individual opens any adventure they have to invested
big chunks of Change the verb
invest
money
to run their business
smoothly. In addition
to this
, they may take loan
from the banks to meet the demands of the market Fix the agreement mistake
loans
thus
in
the dark side if Change preposition
on
business
may fail they will Add an article
the business
loose
their Replace the word
lose
money
and face
financial
crisis in Correct article usage
a financial
their
future Change the word
the
life
. An article published my
Benjamin Bradlee in Correct your spelling
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
Washigton
on 'MARKET' asserted that 10% Correct your spelling
Washington
humans
Change preposition
of humans
face
serious consquences
and fall Correct your spelling
consequences
in
debt when they do not Change preposition
into
paid
their loans on time.
In Change the verb form
pay
additionally
, working in companies Replace the word
addition
some times
a person Correct your spelling
sometimes
faced
racism and monotonous and even they break up their relations with their Wrong verb form
face
close knit
friends and relatives because they Add a hyphen
close-knit
donot
spend time with their family and friends .Correct your spelling
do not
Hence
, their social life
disturbed
Add a missing verb
is disturbed
with
their time management.
To Change preposition
by
recaptulate
, it can be summed up without a doubt open a Correct your spelling
recapitulate
business
a person can earn more money
as compare
to Change the form of the verb
compared
job
.On the dark side , and with my observations I firmly Add an article
the job
a job
believes
that Change the verb form
believe
individual
may Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
face
a
debt in their future Remove the article
apply
life
and may faced
financial crisis if Change the verb form
face
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
donot
run efficiently.Correct your spelling
do not
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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the prompt; while you discussed the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment and working for companies, your personal opinion needs to be more explicitly stated and elaborated upon in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical paragraph transitions and connections between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion. Try to use linking words or phrases to make the relationship between sentences and ideas clearer.
task achievement
Develop main points with more specific examples and details for a clearer and more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and punctuation to further improve clarity. Some sentences were difficult to follow due to minor grammatical issues, like subject-verb agreement.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment and working for companies.
coherence cohesion
Introduction effectively sets the scope of the essay, and the conclusion brings the discussion to a close.
task achievement
Usage of statistics and references, like the University of British Columbia study, adds credibility to the points presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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