IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Fewer people are reading books these days. Therefore we should close all liblaries and use the funds for something more urgent like healthcare. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #liblaries #funds #healthcare
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world, most
people
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not go to the
liblary
Correct your spelling
library
. So the number of
liblarian
Correct your spelling
librarian
librarians
 declined. And most of
funds
Add an article
the funds
show examples
 have to
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 for
another things
Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
show examples
 like healthcare. In my opinion,
liblaries
Correct your spelling
libraries
 must not close. There are some primary
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 all
liblaries
Correct your spelling
libraries
. First and foremost,
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 where
people
 can
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 become more optimal
place
 for poor
people
 or all students. Because there are all
sourses
Correct your spelling
sources
 like books, using free internet and silent
place
. Not only students can gather to
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
 books and
practicing
Replace the word
practice
show examples
 but
also
 most readers can organize some social meetings. If all
liblaries
Correct your spelling
libraries
 close
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 healthcare, in
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
, most of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation and the part of
poor
Add an article
the poor
show examples
 population.
On the other hand
,
Correct your spelling
libraries
liblaries
 have lots of benefits for the health of
people
. Because of silence in the
liblary
Correct your spelling
library
, many readers who
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
nerves
Replace the word
nervous
show examples
 or mental issues can relax by reading books and
silent
Add a missing verb
being silent
show examples
. It is
also
 mentioned that, nowadays, all
liblaries
Correct your spelling
libraries
 have an opportunity to use the internet
as well as
 learn and gather some
informasion
Correct your spelling
information
 on the net or website. So they
are connect
Change the verb form
are connected
are connecting
show examples
 with
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 technology decade. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
liblaries
Correct your spelling
libraries
 take lots of funds that can use for healthcare development,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many beneficial ways like relaxing
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
,
ueing
Correct your spelling
using
being
 free internet or
connect
Wrong verb form
connecting
show examples
 with
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world and
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
meeting
Correct article usage
a meeting
show examples
place
.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by organizing your ideas into paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should represent one major point, with appropriate connecting language to guide the reader.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. This will enhance your task achievement by supporting main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion clearly summarizes the key points of your essay, reinforcing your position on the issue.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the importance of libraries.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps provide structure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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