This bar graph shows the number of days lost due to injury per worker for five countries.There are three tome periods shown begining witn the year 1991 and ending in 2005.

This bar graph shows the number of days lost due to injury per worker for five countries.There are three tome periods shown begining witn the year 1991 and ending in 2005.
The bar chart illustrates how many
days
each worker lost
according to
injury in five different countries.The figure presents three time periods,each
period
has five-year intervals from 1991 to 2005.
Overall
,it can be seen that China had the most worker's
days
lost in the
last
decade.
To begin
with,The
number
of employee
days
lost in China,Korea and America had upward trends within the
period
given.
However
,the rising rates are different.China began with the most
days
lost which was around 6.5
days
.After that,the
number
grew exponentially to around 8
days
and eventually reached a peak at just under 10
days
.America and Korea had different starting points,which were at 3 and 3.5
days
respectively but
finally
ended at the same
number
at just over 5
days
.
Whereas
,Germany had a downward trend,which in the first
period
was around 3
days
and the
number
declined to under 2.5
days
.
Lastly
,The
number
in Brazil fluctuated.In the first
period
,it accounted for around 6.5
days
then
slightly dropped to 6
days
but eventually the
number
climbed up to 7.5
days
.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words days, period, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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