Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits, TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

These days,
homgenization
Correct your spelling
homogenization
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
developed
tremonsously
Correct your spelling
tremendously
, which is hard to recognise the differences between nations.
This
leads people
follow
Add the particle
to follow
show examples
the same trends, brands, and even eating habits. There are some merits and demerits regarding
this
issue and it'll be discussed that the advantages of
this
issue override its negatives. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
hand, there are some pros for having
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
interest globally with regard to some life facets. First and foremost, these days thanks to the Internet, information is
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
worldwide and people are more likely to be well-informed related to the latest news. Take
Correct article usage
the America
show examples
America
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American
show examples
poll
for instance
, which
palys
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plays
a pivotal role not only in its country but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
affects the whole people in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world.
In other words
, when individuals globally know what is
happenning
Correct your spelling
happening
in the world they can make concrete decisions.
Furthermore
, Earth may turn
to
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out to
show examples
be a
sorts
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sort
show examples
of
peasful
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peaceful
and
tranquility
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tranquil
show examples
place for living as long as a majority of
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the nation
show examples
nation
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nations
show examples
united
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is united
show examples
together, meaning that there may be less war
some day
Correct your spelling
someday
show examples
, owing to the unforming of life aspects.
On the other hand
, others may believe that global cultural homogenization
cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
some
catastrphic
Correct your spelling
catastrophic
problems. Disappearing some of the traditions is one of the apparent issues, which means the more global trends are
inroduced
Correct your spelling
introduced
through
the
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apply
show examples
social media, the more cultures might
be vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
show examples
. To illustrate, traditional clothes in Iran are not worn once the clear-cut technology
improved
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
, meaning that
citizons
Correct your spelling
citizens
in
this
country would rather wear trendy clothes as they believe they seem more stylish.
Moreover
, a whole host of nations, which are affected by
this
matter might seem dull since there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not adequate diversity in cultures as they follow some united norms worldwide.
Consequently
, humans are more likely to feel bored after a
while
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
monotonous lives that they lead.
To sum up
, the
advant
Correct your spelling
advantage
of technology, which leads to some pros and cons,
individual's
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individuals'
show examples
lifestyles
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
shifted towards
the
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apply
show examples
golobal
Correct your spelling
global
trends, brands, and even their diets. These may bring about some
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
for humans
such
as being fully aware of crucial news worldwide and the reduction of war,which means living in
tranquility
Change the spelling
tranquillity
show examples
.
Nonetheless
,
this
can have some
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
side effects, including vanishing traditions of
counries
Correct your spelling
countries
and turning out to be tedious.
Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on

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task achievement
Try to maintain a more consistent focus on the main question throughout your essay. Clearly state whether the advantages or disadvantages are more significant, and consistently support this viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your logical structure by using clear topic sentences and linking words, like 'firstly', 'however', 'on the other hand'. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument.
task achievement
Provide more relevant specific examples to substantiate your points, such as specific events or data, to give your arguments greater weight.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, giving your essay a clear beginning and end.
task achievement
You attempted to use topic-specific vocabulary, which adds depth to your essay's development.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cross-cultural communication
  • Assimilation
  • Homogenization
  • Acculturation
  • Traditional customs
  • Local economies
  • Diversity
  • Inclusion
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