Some of the people ay that it would be better if the majorities of the employees worked from home instead of travelling to work place everyday. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages.
Some people assume that workers should work from
home
, rather than going
to the Wrong verb form
go
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
everyday
. In my view, the positive aspects surpass Replace the word
every day
Correct article usage
the remarkably
remarkably
downsides, because humans are capable of allocating more Change the word
remarkable
time
to themselves and traffic jams decrease incredibly.
To begin
with, in the workplaces
, employers generally give duties to the workers and they are responsible for finishing all in a day. Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
However
, it could be done from home
and assist employees who are parents, to grow
offspringVerb problem
raise
up
, because nowadays, human beings suffer from raising children properly, complain about the limited Change preposition
apply
time
they allocate to the infants due to
working in the
offices, far away Correct article usage
apply
their
own properties. Change preposition
from their
For example
, although
they work 9-5 from home
again, at least they will be able to have more time
with their children and be more energetic.
What is more, today megapolis cities are tormented by traffic and overuse of public transport, this
is because everyone is supposed to either buy an automobile or use public transport so as to travel to the
places of employment. But, if Change the word
their
the
companies take up to move employees from offices to their homes, the Correct article usage
apply
overall
usage of cars and transportation system
will decline significantly, which will make Fix the agreement mistake
systems
air
much cleaner and public vehicles less crowded. Correct article usage
the air
Moreover
, as a result
of this
implementation, the rot contributed to the roadways, will experience a sharp downfall.
In conclusion, some human kinds are of the opinion that instead
of covering a lot of distances to offices and companies, having Correct article usage
a vocation
vocation
from Correct your spelling
vacation
home
would be much
better idea. In my opinion, the reason why Add an article
a much
benefits
go beyond the drawbacks are reserving more Correct article usage
the benefits
time
to
the children and the use of roads Change preposition
for
drop
greatly.Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
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task achievement
Focus on strengthening the thesis by directly addressing whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make your position unmistakably clear in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more varied and specific examples. Illustrate the benefits and drawbacks with realistic scenarios.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly presented, and arguments are well-developed with clear reasoning. Some parts required more elaboration for clearer understanding.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is generally logical, work on smoother transitions between points and paragraphs, ensuring a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that main points are clearly and explicitly supported throughout the essay, as some parts were a bit vague or unsupported.
task achievement
Your essay presents relevant points and examples related to working from home, addressing both time management and commuting concerns.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the content of your essay. There's a clear stance on the issue, though it could be emphasized more.
coherence cohesion
You provide coherent paragraphs with logically structured ideas, maintaining focus on the central theme.