Some of the people ay that it would be better if the majorities of the employees worked from home instead of travelling to work place everyday. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages.

Some people assume that workers should work from
home
, rather than
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to the
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. In my view, the positive aspects surpass
Correct article usage
the remarkably
show examples
remarkably
Change the word
remarkable
show examples
downsides, because humans are capable of allocating more
time
to themselves and traffic jams decrease incredibly.
To begin
with, in the
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
, employers generally give duties to the workers and they are responsible for finishing all in a day.
However
, it could be done from
home
and assist employees who are parents, to
grow
Verb problem
raise
show examples
offspring
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, because nowadays, human beings suffer from raising children properly, complain about the limited
time
they allocate to the infants
due to
working in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offices, far away
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
own properties.
For example
,
although
they work 9-5 from
home
again, at least they will be able to have more
time
with their children and be more energetic. What is more, today megapolis cities are tormented by traffic and overuse of public transport,
this
is because everyone is supposed to either buy an automobile or use public transport so as to travel to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
places of employment. But, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies take up to move employees from offices to their homes, the
overall
usage of cars and transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
will decline significantly, which will make
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
much cleaner and public vehicles less crowded.
Moreover
,
as a result
of
this
implementation, the rot contributed to the roadways, will experience a sharp downfall. In conclusion, some human kinds are of the opinion that
instead
of covering a lot of distances to offices and companies, having
Correct article usage
a vocation
show examples
vocation
Correct your spelling
vacation
show examples
from
home
would be
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
better idea. In my opinion, the reason why
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
go beyond the drawbacks are reserving more
time
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the children and the use of roads
drop
Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
show examples
greatly.
Submitted by novruzluahmed2007 on

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task achievement
Focus on strengthening the thesis by directly addressing whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make your position unmistakably clear in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more varied and specific examples. Illustrate the benefits and drawbacks with realistic scenarios.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly presented, and arguments are well-developed with clear reasoning. Some parts required more elaboration for clearer understanding.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is generally logical, work on smoother transitions between points and paragraphs, ensuring a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that main points are clearly and explicitly supported throughout the essay, as some parts were a bit vague or unsupported.
task achievement
Your essay presents relevant points and examples related to working from home, addressing both time management and commuting concerns.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the content of your essay. There's a clear stance on the issue, though it could be emphasized more.
coherence cohesion
You provide coherent paragraphs with logically structured ideas, maintaining focus on the central theme.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • commuting
  • environmental pollution
  • personalized
  • well-being
  • self-discipline
  • time management
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • operational costs
  • profitability
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