It is often argued by many that historical objects should be returned to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is universally acknowledged that ancient
objects
are unique and exclusive and illustrate history and ancient culture .In this
regard
they are protectively retained in highly advanced museums. Recently, maintaining them in another region has sparked controversy regarding whether historical Add a comma
regard,
objects
should be returned to their original place. Hence
, this
essay will discuss my negative orientation towards this
statement along with
supportive reasons.
It is undeniable that protecting these historical objects
requires high-tech and specialized facilities. Some of these extremely old items
are remarkably sensitive and need to be maintained in an advanced equipment
. Remove the article
advanced equipment
a piece of advanced equipment
However
, providing this facilities
requires a huge budget, which sometimes is hard to be prepared by Change the determiner
this facility
these facilities
original
countries. Correct article usage
the original
Thus
, in order to save them, it is highly recommended to transport these historical items
to another region with high-tech amenities. For example
, the died
body of Salty Men, Replace the word
dead
dicovered
in Zanjan, Iran, Correct your spelling
discovered
beloned
to 100 years ago, were transported to London because of Correct your spelling
belonged
vaccum
capsules which were not available in Iran.
Correct your spelling
vacuum
On the other hand
, it is believed that it is a practical way to attract tourists
to the original country
. To put it differently, most these
historical Change preposition
of these
items
are retained in the
famous museums Correct article usage
apply
in
the world where are visited by thousands of Change preposition
around
tourists
. Visiting these historical items
by tourists
and travelers
can incentivize them to travel Change the spelling
travellers
the
Change preposition
to the
country
of origin. Consequently
, the origin of country
can be a tourist destination Add an article
the country
a country
through
presenting its culture by sending an ancient item to another Change preposition
by
country
. For example
, a column of Pasargad, the oldest structure in the world, is maintaining
in the Wrong verb form
maintained
Luvure
Museum in Paris. Correct your spelling
Louvre
This
encourages foreign people to visit Pasargad in Iran.
In conclusion, historical objects
are presenting
the original culture of countries and they are significantly vital for history. In Wrong verb form
present
this
regard, they should be protected in developed facilities as well as
they can be a good encouragement for tourists
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea. Your second and third paragraphs could be more distinctly separated in focus by clearly outlining the advantages and disadvantages rather than mixing them.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, try to provide more details on how these examples directly support the main point.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure to use linking words appropriately to connect your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that set the stage and summarize the main points nicely.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as the Salty Men and Pasargad column, which provide specific evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally clear and follow logically, creating a reasonable argument structure throughout the essay.