Some people think that the main purposes of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that the main purpose of
schools
is to prepare students
to become responsible citizens and efficient employees, rather than focusing on student's
personal growth. In my point of view, Fix the agreement mistake
students'
i
believe that the primary purpose is to develop Change the capitalization
I
students
as individuals, helping them grow in knowledge and physically, instead
to
using them to serve social roles.
On the one hand, Change preposition
of
schools
play a key role in helping pupils learn across various areas of life. They teach pupils essential subjects like languages, where students
can understand the
grammar and vocabulary, which are considered Correct article usage
apply
as
the foundation of effective communication, and reinforce lessons by Change preposition
apply
practicing
speaking and writing. Change the spelling
practising
Students
also
take mathematics classes that involve solving math equations, performing calculations and understanding acconting
. Correct your spelling
accounting
Additionally
, through courses like history, pupils can learn about their country's heritage, helping them understand how their identity and traditions have been shaped.
On the other hand
, schools
also
promote learner's personal growth by encouraging them to engage in sports and extracurricular activities. Many schools
invest in facilities like football and tennis courts, also
organize teams and viewing areas, creating competitions and enjoyable atmosphare
. Correct your spelling
atmosphere
moreover
, schools
educate students
about the benefits of physical activieties
and the Correct your spelling
activities
risk
of Fix the agreement mistake
risks
sedentary
lifestyle, ensuring they understand the importance of maintaining a healthy body. Add an article
a sedentary
For instance
, a lesson about the advantages of walking would encourage young people to rely more on walking to reach school.
In conclusion, While
schools
can preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
students
for future societal roles has its value. Schools
should prioritize supporting personal growth by enhancing awareness and physical abilities, schools
play a crucial role in shaping well-rounded individuals.Submitted by danall1kat on
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task achievement
Consider presenting a more balanced view in the introduction. It could be beneficial to acknowledge both perspectives initially, even if you argue more strongly for one.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are always fully supported by examples or explanations. While you provide examples for physical activities, such support could be extended to other points as well.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases consistently to enhance the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position, emphasizing the importance of personal growth alongside preparing students for societal roles.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a clear structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in readability and understanding.