IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#consumption #three #person #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph gives information about the everyday consumption of the different categories of products
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
 an individual between 1981 and 2007 in a country. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective , it can be clearly seen that the low fat and reduced spreads experience a downward trend
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
butter an upward trend throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. Margarine had some fluctuations all the
period
Use synonyms
. Commencing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Butter
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 160 grams in the year 1986 .interestingly, in the year 2007 the figure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
showed a gradual decrease to about 45 g in the given order .  In 2007 , Margarine witnessed a decrease to 40 respectively. It
also
Linking Words
 had
a fluctuations
Correct the article-noun agreement
fluctuations
a fluctuation
show examples
 throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. In the year 1996 low fat and reduced spreads
hitting
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
 a low point with a very small number. Continued to increase steadily to the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 reaching around 48 grams .
Submitted by a.almakmari93 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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