Some people believe that parents have great influence on children's growth, but others think that influence from the outside plays a more important role. Discuss both test views and give your own opinion.
I was thinking about the impact of the
parents
on the children
Change noun form
children's
growth
and behaviours and the outside factors
which may affect the growth
correspondingly, after discussing the diversity of people's opinions I think the impact depends on the situation ,in some casies
The Correct your spelling
cases
Parents
have a greater affect
and other Replace the word
effect
casies
Correct your spelling
cases
totaly
the opposite.
There Correct your spelling
totally
are
many evidences which support my opinion and illustrate the two different situations, in the year of 2009, The University of MIT Correct subject-verb agreement
is
established
Verb problem
conducted
a
research about Remove the article
apply
kids
welfare and Change noun form
kids'
kid's
growth
discussing the important factors
,They tested a
400 Correct article usage
apply
child
in their early life, Fix the agreement mistake
children
This
research had
Verb problem
apply
lead
to a result which Wrong verb form
led
consequently
confirmed that the parents
who rule the home has the greater impact with a huge percentage of 75% among the other factors
.
On the other hand
,The famous japanese
psychologist Change the capitalization
Japanese
Dr.
Suzuki wrote a book with the total " The Human Change the punctuation
Dr
Mind
Growth
", this
book certenly
Correct your spelling
certainly
had
provided many surveys which Unnecessary verb
apply
tells
us that the outsider Correct subject-verb agreement
tell
factors
is
the main Affecter and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
determines
the final shape of the human Correct subject-verb agreement
determine
mind
after completing the growth
regardless the parents
existence ,Dr.Suzuki Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
standed
for many Correct your spelling
stood
scientifical
Correct your spelling
scientific
resourses
to strengthen Correct your spelling
resources
this
idea.
To sum up
, The child
Change noun form
child's
mind
may be Correct your spelling
affected
effected
by the Correct your spelling
affected
child
own Change noun form
child's
parents
or by the
outside Correct article usage
apply
legislations
,by illustrating the opposite opinions it can be clear that the Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
child
Change noun form
child's
mind
depends on more complecated
Correct your spelling
complicated
factors
for each situation, so the parents
can not be the most effecter for all the time and the outside also
.Submitted by abdullahowalzi on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the introduction and conclusion to clearly present and wrap up the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Develop a logical structure to ensure a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and support your main points more substantially for stronger task achievement.
task achievement
Address both views evenly in the essay, ensuring that each point is thoroughly discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and presents an opinion, which fulfills the basic requirement of the task.
task achievement
The essay provides examples, such as referencing a study from MIT, to support the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Attempts to use evidence and examples to support claims, adding depth to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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