Some people believe that parents have great influence on children's growth, but others think that influence from the outside plays a more important role. Discuss both test views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #influence #children #growth #role #test

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

I was thinking about the impact of the

parents

on the

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

growth

and behaviours and the outside

factors

which may affect the

growth

correspondingly, after discussing the diversity of people's opinions I think the impact depends on the situation ,in some

casies

Correct your spelling

cases

The

Parents

have a greater

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

and other

casies

Correct your spelling

cases

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

the opposite. There

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

many evidences which support my opinion and illustrate the two different situations, in the year of 2009, The University of MIT

established

Verb problem

conducted

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research about

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

welfare and

growth

discussing the important

factors

,They tested

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

400

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

in their early life,

This

research

had

Verb problem

apply

show examples

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to a result which

consequently

confirmed that the

parents

who rule the home has the greater impact with a huge percentage of 75% among the other

factors

On the other hand

,The famous

japanese

Change the capitalization

Japanese

show examples

psychologist

Dr.

Change the punctuation

show examples

Suzuki wrote a book with the total " The Human

Mind

Growth

this

book

certenly

Correct your spelling

certainly

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

provided many surveys which

tells

Correct subject-verb agreement

tell

show examples

us that the outsider

factors

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the main Affecter and

determines

Correct subject-verb agreement

determine

show examples

the final shape of the human

mind

after completing the

growth

regardless the

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

existence ,Dr.Suzuki

standed

Correct your spelling

stood

show examples

for many

scientifical

Correct your spelling

scientific

show examples

resourses

Correct your spelling

resources

to strengthen

this

idea.

To sum up

, The

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

mind

may be

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

by the

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

own

parents

or by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outside

legislations

Fix the agreement mistake

legislation

show examples

,by illustrating the opposite opinions it can be clear that the

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

mind

depends on more

complecated

Correct your spelling

complicated

factors

for each situation, so the

parents

can not be the most effecter for all the time and the outside

also

Submitted by abdullahowalzi on Tue Nov 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the introduction and conclusion to clearly present and wrap up the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Develop a logical structure to ensure a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Provide more detailed explanations and support your main points more substantially for stronger task achievement.

task achievement

Address both views evenly in the essay, ensuring that each point is thoroughly discussed.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views and presents an opinion, which fulfills the basic requirement of the task.

task achievement

The essay provides examples, such as referencing a study from MIT, to support the arguments presented.

coherence cohesion

Attempts to use evidence and examples to support claims, adding depth to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?
People spend their time in various ways for different purposes. However, there is a sense of unsafety among those who either stay at home or go out. In this essay, I will examine some reasons and practical solutions to tackle this issue.
6.5
band
Nowadays, some countries are spending a lot of money to make it easier to use bicycle. Why is this? Is it the best solution to transport problem?
In recent years, the trend of conveyance has started to shift from vehicles that use gas to bicycles. A majority of the countries are investing and promoting the usage of bicycles as a means of transportation. This would have a positive impact on the environment and the overall state as well. However, it has its own shortcomings too. The following paragraphs discuss whether bicycles are a sovereign remedy or not.
5.5
band
Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that older individuals now predominately hold higher positions in all organizations. I think senior managers have greater benefits over young individuals when it comes to directing a company, despite the belief held by some that younger people would show superior leadership.
5
band
Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this modern world, there is an ongoing debate about whether authorities are paying much attention to artists and neglecting other factors or whether it is a good way to support their belief and other ways. I believe that focusing on each of the equally will have a majority of advantages that is good for people and environment.
<4
band
Dear Madam, I am Sarah. I live in Canada. I want to studying your training course and I do not know any information about the course. I am sure you can help me.
I am Sarah. I live in Canada. I want to studying your training course and I do not know any information about the course. I am sure you can help me.

Some people believe that parents have great influence on children's growth, but others think that influence from the outside plays a more important role. Discuss both test views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

Nowadays, some countries are spending a lot of money to make it easier to use bicycle. Why is this? Is it the best solution to transport problem?

Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Dear Madam, I am Sarah. I live in Canada. I want to studying your training course and I do not know any information about the course. I am sure you can help me.