IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks.

#bus #service #reliability #area #two #weeks
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the
ridiuloulous
Correct your spelling
ridiculous
bus
 service from your company especially the timing. Nowadays, I
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 a lot of problems as the
bus
 is never on time. People have to wait more than half an hour in snow as you know that the temperature nowadays is decreasing day by day so it is difficult to stand outside.
Mreover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, I face
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 problem with the
bus
drivers
Change noun form
drivers'
driver's
show examples
 behaviour because they are so rude.
Furthermore
, they are affecting me
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 in my daily life because
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two
weeks
Add a comma
weeks,
show examples
 I
got
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 late for my work or for
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
college and I got scolded by my seniors.
Moreover
, the
bus
 drivers never tell the route to the passengers if they
asked
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
. I would suggest you that please make sure that the buses are on time if not let the people know via the
bus
 app so it will not become
hazard
Add an article
a hazard
show examples
 to them to stand outside. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Simranjeet Kaur
Submitted by yuvrajsinghsaggu200703 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, organizing points more logically will improve the overall flow of the letter. Consider structuring your points so that related ideas follow one another more closely.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to introduce and conclude your letter more explicitly. A clear introduction stating the purpose and a more formal conclusion could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Strengthen the support for your main points with more specific examples or details. This will make the complaints more persuasive and informative.
task achievement
The candidate clearly identifies the main issues with the bus service, which are the timing and the drivers' behavior, demonstrating a focus on relevant points.
task achievement
The writer uses a polite yet assertive tone when addressing the issue, which is appropriate for a formal complaint letter.
coherence cohesion
The letter is divided into paragraphs, which aids in organizing the information, showing an attempt at creating a logical structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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