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July 11 exam discussion The charts below show the proportion ofgraduates with different qualifications working in oneengineering companyin 1980 and 2008

July 11 exam discussion The charts below show the proportion ofgraduates with different qualifications working in oneengineering companyin 1980 and 2008
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The pie charts compare the proportion of graduates with different qualifications working in one engineering company in 1980 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly seen that, working in one engineering company in two different years the highest
score
Use synonyms
 was Master-
science
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
score
Use synonyms
 was
Ph
Use synonyms
.D.
Art
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the proportion of graduates in 1980 the Master-
science
Use synonyms
 was the highest
score
Use synonyms
 at 29%,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
score
Use synonyms
 was 2% for
PhD
Correct article usage
a PhD
show examples
.
Art
Use synonyms
 and the
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
science
Use synonyms
 was higher slightly to 25%. First-degree
science
Use synonyms
 was lower to 20%. Afterwards, Master
Art
Use synonyms
lower
Wrong verb form
lowered
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 considerably to 13%.
Then
Linking Words
 First degree-
Art
Use synonyms
 represented 11%. As for 2008, the largest trend was
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
science
Use synonyms
 at 30%. Master
science
Use synonyms
 was lower by 1% than PhD
science
Use synonyms
. Master-
Art
Use synonyms
 and First-degree
science
Use synonyms
 was similar to 12% of graduates. First-degree
Art
Use synonyms
 was 10% and the lowest
score
Use synonyms
 was
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
Art
Use synonyms
 at 7%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words score, ph, art, science with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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