In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?
Obesity is a growing
health
issue in the childhood period in different countries. The reason is directly related to the consumption of food
and the living style, including sluggish habits in daily routines with no exercise. In this
respect, the government should take possible measures in checking
the Change preposition
to check
food
quality.
The issues related to health
has
always been a major Correct subject-verb agreement
have
concerns
of every human being on the planet. In comparison, in Correct the article-noun agreement
concern
the
modern times, the advancements in processed Correct article usage
apply
food
consumption are directly affecting the health
of juveniles in the form of an
obesity. First of all, the way of eating habits in youngsters are developing with their taste buds, Remove the article
apply
therefore
, they are more inclined towards junk food
rather than a healthy diet. Secondly
, they are not visibly moving their bodies and they also
do not play conventional games, whereas
, they only eat and play video games, instead
. Furthermore
, it is also
a
responsibility of the parents, Correct article usage
the
that
they Correct word choice
apply
must
ensure the eating Verb problem
apply
pattern
of their children and they are the real reason behind their taste Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
buds
development.
To decrease Change noun form
buds'
bud's
this
rising impact of food
consumption, the government should design policies and organize particular food
authorities where
Correct word choice
whose
their
responsibility should be to address the Correct pronoun usage
apply
food
quality produced and distributed in the market. It may also
restrict those food
items, which are critical to the
human Correct article usage
apply
health
, such
as street food
, fried items, and unhygienic food
stalls, cafes, and restaurants. They must publicise the awareness among people by addressing health
issue
by regulating campaigns against unhealthy Fix the agreement mistake
issues
diet
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
diets
health
issues must be taken care by
parent regarding their children to develop healthy Change preposition
of by
lifestyle
. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
Moreover
, the government also
design
policies to take strict measures against Wrong verb form
designed
food
delivering
in the country.Replace the word
delivery
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your points. Some transitions and connections between ideas aren't always clear. Organizing the ideas in a more structured way will help enhance the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide specific examples or evidence to support your main points. More examples related to policies or individual actions could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Be sure to clarify your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Some points could be explained in greater detail for better clarity.
task achievement
Good attempt at covering reasons for childhood obesity and potential solutions, showing a solid understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion that summarize the main points, which enhances coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.