IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The given pie chart represents the benefit of water been used in six continent for different reason in percent.

The given pie chart represents the benefit of water been used in six continent for different reason in percent.
#benefit #water #six #continent #reason #percent
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Overall
Linking Words
, Agriculture is the most used in four areas is agriculture
while
Linking Words
 North America and Europe
use
Use synonyms
industrial
Replace the word
industry
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 the highest. For North America
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost half
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of water has been used by industrial
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by gardening at 39
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is 26
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 more than domestic.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 Europe
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 water for
industrial
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more than half,
use
Use synonyms
,agriculture at 32
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
also
Linking Words
 domestic has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used only 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
lower
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than a quarter.
In contrast
Linking Words
,South America
use
Use synonyms
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first at 70
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, domestic is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 nearly 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 industrial at the least.
Future
Change preposition
In future
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
Africa
use
Use synonyms
 water 9
percent
Use synonyms
 more than three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
show examples
,domestic
also
Linking Words
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
 have the many at 9 and 7
percent
Use synonyms
 respectively. For
Asia
Correct article usage
the Asia
show examples
 zone, two areas have the
closes
Replace the word
closest
show examples
 number. Start with Central Asia at 88
percent
Use synonyms
 in gardening, 7
percent
Use synonyms
 at domestic which is 2
percent
Use synonyms
 larger than industrial.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
 South East Asia
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 agricultural at more than
three- fourth
Correct your spelling
three-fourth
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 Industrial at 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 more than domestic.
Submitted by esaraica on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words use, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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