In the modern age,society is changing faster and faster.This accelerating pace of life affects our mental and physical health.To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays,

Due to

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the advancement of technology and industrialization,the world has rapidly changed in various aspects.I strongly believe that these changes have impacts on us

in particular

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,both mental and physical

health

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.In the following paragraphs,the reasons to support my agreement will be outlined in detail.

To begin

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with,After the industrialization era,The incidence of mental

health

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issues

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such

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as depression,anxiety or panic diseases has increased substantially.The main causes of

this

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problem are the pressure from work and a lack of support.

That is

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to say,the career trend has changed from agriculture in rural areas to the cities in order to find opportunities for career growth and more income to support their family.

In other words

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people

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of working age move away from their loved ones to strive for a progress in workplace with abundant competition.

Also

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,societies in urban areas are different from countries since

people

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have little contact with others in the vicinity.

Thus

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,when they have a problem,they have to struggle alone.

Additionally

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,The incidence rates of physical

health

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issues

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increase corresponding with mental diseases.Working in office environments means a lot of time spent in front of a computer screen and less space to move around.

Also

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people

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barely have personal time to work out.

Moreover

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,fast foods have become popular

due to

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their affordable price and their convenience.All of these factors contribute to the rates of obesity and related

health

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issues

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namely hypertension,diabetes mellitus,ischemic heart disease and stroke risen exponentially especially,in the

last

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decade. In conclusion,In the modern age,

people

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's lives have transformed rapidly from agricultural societies to industrialization.Both mental and physical

issues

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are the consequences of

this

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change that we should take into account.

chawanat.plaWed Nov 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to avoid very small grammatical errors, such as missing articles or unnecessary capitalization. For example, 'After the industrialization era' can be 'After the industrialization era,' and 'The incidence rates' can benefit from correction.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task by incorporating a counter-claim or discussing an alternative viewpoint, which might further strengthen the main argument.

task achievement

Develop ideas more fully, with examples from various professional or personal perspectives to enrich the arguments.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your discussion.

supported main points

You effectively support your main points, particularly in explaining the link between industrialization and health issues.

complete response

Your response addresses the task prompts well, clearly explaining and demonstrating an understanding of the topic's complexities.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

accelerating pace
mental health
physical health
stress and anxiety
economic progress
technological advancements
blurred boundaries
work-life balance
burnout
dietary habits
lack of exercise
hypertension
heart disease
innovations in healthcare
wellness
mindfulness
fitness initiatives
self-care
countering negative impacts

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In the modern age,society is changing faster and faster.This accelerating pace of life affects our mental and physical health.To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the benefits of this outweigh the problems?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Crime is a big problem in the world;Many people believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Knowing how to make a group presentation is the most important skill for anyone in the world of work today. How important are presentation and public speaking skills, compared to various other work skills? Which skill is the most important ability for most people these days?

Some people think that the provision of healthcare is the responsibility of the state, while others believe the individual to be responsible for the costs of their own healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these perspectives?