Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent to you agree?

Nowaday
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Nowadays
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, there is a heated discussion on whether many of
medical
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the medical
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problems that people are experiencing in today's
would
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world
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are
due to
the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. In
this
essay, I will demonstrate
that
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apply
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the impact of a sedentary lifestyle lifestyle on cardiovascular health to
aginst
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against
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this
point.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure the essay fully addresses all parts of the question. Provide a clear stance on the topic and develop your ideas thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on developing a clearer logical structure throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea that is clearly explained and linked to other parts of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen the argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining your introduction to clearly state your position and preview the points that you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
The topic has been clearly introduced, indicating an understanding of the issue at hand.
task achievement
The essay attempts to focus on a specific aspect of the issue, namely the impact of a sedentary lifestyle on cardiovascular health.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Prolonged inactivity
  • Obesity
  • Hypertension
  • Coronary artery disease
  • Stroke
  • Diabetes
  • Mental health
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Musculoskeletal health
  • Back pain
  • Posture
  • Osteoporosis
  • Prevention
  • Walking
  • Standing desks
  • Regular exercise
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