IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many believe that a person who has a college diploma will have better chance in landing a good job in the future.This is why most parents strive to send their children to college.To what extent do you agree that only a college diploma is the key to a better future?Give good reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Nowadays,more young
people
Use synonyms
 are able to access the educational system than in the past.Many parents still make an attempt to send their children to study with the highest degrees possible in order to have more opportunities in job selection.
However
Linking Words
,critics argue that successful careers do not depend on a college diploma.From my perspective,
Education
Use synonyms
 is the passport to the future.In the following paragraphs,the reasons and examples will be outlined in detail.
To begin
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 with,the main reason why
education
Use synonyms
 is tremendously important is the fact that many expert careers require a lot of dedication to studying.
For example
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,doctors and lawyers are two job positions that are always brought as examples of expertise fields which can provide
people
Use synonyms
 with monetary incentives.Sole income from these jobs is more than enough to supply their whole family.
On the contrary
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,in order to apply for these positions,a lot of time needs to be spent learning.
For instance
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,Specialist doctors
such
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 as surgeons,orthopaedics or gynaecologists require more than ten years to be experts in these fields.
Whereas
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,some
people
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 have a different opinion.
Due to
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 technological advancement,we can see examples of many individuals who succeed whether in their work life or income without having a degree.
That is
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 to say,Tiktokers who are able to get many followers and have a talent at marketing so they can be brand presenters or even establish their own brands.
Also
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,many athletes or singers who have natural gifts do not essentially attend general schools. In conclusion,
Education
Use synonyms
 does not have an obligation to a successful life.Either
people
Use synonyms
's natural talent or their effort can contribute to achievement yet,
education
Use synonyms
 is crucial as it can be an additional power to aid
people
Use synonyms
 to their accomplishment more easily.

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Task Achievement
Enhance the task response by focusing on a stronger thesis statement in the introduction, clearly indicating your stance without ambiguity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that maps out the main idea to improve coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Providing more specific examples and elaborating on them could strengthen the support of your main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a nice framing for your arguments.
Task Achievement
The use of specific professional fields as examples (doctors, lawyers, Tiktokers) is effective in illustrating the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • college diploma
  • job opportunities
  • career success
  • basic requirement
  • technical skills
  • trade certifications
  • internships
  • hands-on experience
  • practical knowledge
  • academic qualifications
  • networking
  • professional connections
  • employment
  • career advancement
  • gig economy
  • continuous learning
  • adaptability
  • entrepreneurs
  • business leaders
  • creativity
  • resilience
  • innovative thinking
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