IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Austrailian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Austrailian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#first #energy #austrailian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #information #features
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The two charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the comparative percentile analysis of
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of domestic
energy
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
 in Australia and
resulting
Correct article usage
the resulting
show examples
 greenhouse gas
emisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
due to
this
 usage.
Overall
, most of the
energy
 is used in heating processes in
houses
while
 cooling and lighting
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 utilize
Correct article usage
a minmum
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minmum
Correct your spelling
minimum
amount
 of
energy
.
Similarly
,
heating
Correct article usage
the heating
show examples
 process and other
appliances
emits
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emit
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
greenhouse
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the greenhouse
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gases
while
this
percntage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 is low for
referigrating
Correct your spelling
refrigerating
, cooling and lighting sources. On the one hand,
highest
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the highest
show examples
amount
 of
energy
 is
ustilized
Correct your spelling
utilized
utilised
 to keep the
houses
 and water warm in Australian
houses
 with 42 and 30
percent
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per cent
show examples
 respectively. Other
appliances
 used in
houses
 consume
second
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the second
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 most
amount
 of
energy
 which is around 15 %. Collectively 13 %
energy
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of energy
show examples
 is dedicated for refrigeration, lighting and cooling purposes.
On the other hand
 , almost
equale
Correct your spelling
equal
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of greenhouse
gases
 are excreted from water heating which is around 30 %. Contrarily other
appliances
 emit more
gases
 (around 28 % ) compared to
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
energy
 consumed.
Similarly
 around 15 %
gases
Change preposition
of gases
show examples
 are released during keeping the
houses
 warm.
Moreover
,
refrigrating
Correct your spelling
refrigerating
refrigeration
 , lighting and cooling
appliances
 contribute to 7 to 14 %
Correct your spelling
gaseous
gaseuos
Change preposition
of gaseuos
show examples
Correct your spelling
emissions
emmisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, energy, houses, appliances, gases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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