IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Austrailian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Austrailian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The two charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the comparative percentile analysis of
Use synonyms
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of domestic
energy
Use synonyms
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
 in Australia and
resulting
Correct article usage
the resulting
show examples
 greenhouse gas
emisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 usage.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the
energy
Use synonyms
 is used in heating processes in
houses
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 cooling and lighting
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 utilize
Correct article usage
a minmum
show examples
minmum
Correct your spelling
minimum
amount
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
heating
Correct article usage
the heating
show examples
 process and other
appliances
Use synonyms
emits
Change the verb form
emit
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
greenhouse
Add an article
the greenhouse
show examples
gases
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
percntage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 is low for
referigrating
Correct your spelling
refrigerating
, cooling and lighting sources. On the one hand,
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 is
ustilized
Correct your spelling
utilized
utilised
 to keep the
houses
Use synonyms
 and water warm in Australian
houses
Use synonyms
 with 42 and 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively. Other
appliances
Use synonyms
 used in
houses
Use synonyms
 consume
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
 most
amount
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 which is around 15 %. Collectively 13 %
Use synonyms
energy
Change preposition
of energy
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 is dedicated for refrigeration, lighting and cooling purposes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , almost
equale
Correct your spelling
equal
Use synonyms
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of greenhouse
gases
Use synonyms
 are excreted from water heating which is around 30 %. Contrarily other
appliances
Use synonyms
 emit more
gases
Use synonyms
 (around 28 % ) compared to
Use synonyms
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed.
Similarly
Linking Words
 around 15 %
Use synonyms
gases
Change preposition
of gases
show examples
 are released during keeping the
houses
Use synonyms
 warm.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
refrigrating
Correct your spelling
refrigerating
refrigeration
 , lighting and cooling
appliances
Use synonyms
 contribute to 7 to 14 %
Correct your spelling
gaseous
gaseuos
Change preposition
of gaseuos
show examples
Correct your spelling
emissions
emmisions
Correct your spelling
emissions

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, energy, houses, appliances, gases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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