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Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #redeveloped #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The images below
presents
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present
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 a library's ground floor in 2001 and how it changed in 2009.
Overall
, in the past 8 years, the library gained more genres of
books
 and technological updates
such
 as computers. In 2001, only 3 genres of
books
 were available, namely, self-help
books
, history, and fiction. Throughout the years, cookbooks, economics, and law
books
 were added.
Due to
this
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the sections for the previous genres were made smaller to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 the new ones.
Moreover
, tables were added to the back area of the building where the fiction section used to be.
Furthermore
, a new feature, the children's area, was added near the tables. Meanwhile, the newspaper and periodicals area were replaced with shelves for films and DVDs. Near the entrance, 2 sets of computers were added. With all these changes, the librarian's desk, the entrance, and the stairs remained in the same position as it was in 2001.
Submitted by erickacasandra.abas on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main features of the task are covered. Mention any aspects of the floor plan that could further enrich your essay, such as the layout changes or any facilities that might have been removed.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and conclude your descriptions more clearly. A brief conclusion summarizing the changes observed or the overall impact of them would enhance cohesion.
task achievement
You successfully identified and described the major changes in the library, such as the introduction of new book genres and technological upgrades, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure, beginning with an overview and then detailing specific changes. This clear organization improves readability and comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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