IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows the number of airline crew (pilots, stewards etc) needed to fly a passenger plane between Australia and a number of other countries. The second chart shows the number of passenger complaints per plane journey made on these routes, and average kilogram (kg) weight of luggage (or baggage) carried per passenger.

The first chart below shows the number of airline crew (pilots, stewards etc) needed to fly a passenger plane between Australia and a number of other countries. The second chart shows the number of passenger complaints per plane journey made on these routes, and average kilogram (kg) weight of luggage (or baggage) carried per passenger.
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The following first
chart
Use synonyms
 compares the
number
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 of airline crew who needed to fly between Australia and other nations,
while
Linking Words
 the second
chart
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 illustrates both the
number
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 of
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
 claims per
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 and the
weight
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 that allowed for passengers to carry on in kg.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly highlighted that the comparison between the four nations Malaysia, New Zealand, Germany, and Indonesia;
however
Linking Words
, there are fluctuations in both charts. Having a closer look at the first
chart
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, it is interesting to note that Germany has the largest
number
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 of airline crew at over 14, followed by Indonesia at over 10 crews.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Malaysia and New Zealand accounted for the lowest
number
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 of airline crew at 8 and 6 crews, respectively. Turning to the second
chart
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, it is remarkable that there is a great difference between the
weight
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 of luggage and the
number
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 of complaining passengers per flight;
however
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; the carry-on
weight
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 in Germany occupies the top position at over 35 kg per
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 it is the lowest of complaints which there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 nearly no claims.
In contrast
Linking Words
, New Zealand is completely opposite, the average kilogram
weight
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 of baggage is the smallest,
while
Linking Words
 the passenger complaints per plane journey was the highest at nearly 5.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, number, weight with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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