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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features
The graph illustrates the figures of markets that are closed
while
 others are
opend
Correct your spelling
opened
open
 in one region
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2011 until 2018.
To begin
 with,
it is clear that
 the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
opinings
Correct your spelling
opinions
show examples
 started at the highest point in 2001 rather than the closures.
Firstly
, the number of
shops
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
opene approximatly
Correct your spelling
opened approximately
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
8500
then
 dramatically plummeted in 2012
moreover
, had grew significantly in 2014 to reach 6000
shops
 after that
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 again to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
4000
shops
 but remained stable until 2017 to
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 again.
On the other hand
, closed
shops
 had
begin
Change the verb form
begun
show examples
 with between 6000 and 6300 since
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
then
 it had
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
 to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 the highest number in 2013 after that remain
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
draped
 until had the lowest point in 2015 which is nearly to be zero.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, the
numbers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose significantly until
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 stability point over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
.
overall
, The lines
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
describe upward and downward
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
numbers
 that
explains
Change the verb form
explain
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no fixed
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
shops
 and the country
had improve
Wrong verb form
has improved
show examples
 over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 .
Submitted by Poiu on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, shops with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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