Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?
These days younger ones only prefer to play with
gardets
rather than playing outdoor traditional games.
The only reason is the Correct your spelling
gardens
gadgets
parents
because they don't have enough time for thier
Correct your spelling
their
kids
. Another reason is new technology that attract
Change the verb form
attracts
childrens
.
Correct your spelling
children
Parents
are the first teacher
of every child whatever they learn the main reason is Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
parents
somewhere its
because of new school systems. Replace the word
it's
it is
For example
, todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
school
only prefer Fix the agreement mistake
schools
mac
Capitalize word
Mac
book
for studying they Fix the agreement mistake
books
less
use Correct quantifier usage
apply
papper
Correct your spelling
paper
book
. Every homework or assignment they done on Fix the agreement mistake
books
mac
book. So , Capitalize word
Mac
childrens
going Correct your spelling
children
towads
technology very fast.
Correct your spelling
towards
Furthermore
, parents
are busy in
their own life like office work etc. Change preposition
with
who
teaches traditional games to Correct pronoun usage
apply
kids
. How they
know about itAdd a missing verb
do they
.
Technology is Change the punctuation
?
good
thing but how to use Add an article
a good
its
all in our Replace the word
it's
it is
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
hand
, Fix the agreement mistake
hands
todays
children Change to a genitive case
today's
Unnecessary verb
apply
doing
misuse of internet. They know everything before our Verb problem
apply
ages
.Long hours Fix the agreement mistake
age
use
a computer makes Wrong verb form
using
eyes
worse Correct article usage
the eyes
also
Correct word choice
and also
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
on
mental health.
Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, playing outside have
very health benefits like our body Correct subject-verb agreement
has
is
physically fit Wrong verb form
being
.when
we sit for Correct your spelling
When
long
time Change the article
a long
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
makes
Verb problem
causes
obsity
and Correct your spelling
obesity
also
generate
new diseases. Going outside we make new friends , more confidence build , Correct subject-verb agreement
generates
learn
new things from others.
Correct word choice
and learn
My
opinion , Change preposition
In my
every thing
that exists Correct your spelling
everything
have
pros and cons. Network somehow is bad for small Correct subject-verb agreement
has
kids
they don't know about all information
Correct article usage
the information
thats
why they Correct your spelling
that
that's
misleading
Wrong verb form
are misled
of
it.All things going because of Change preposition
by
parents
they have to spent
time with Change the verb
spend
kids
and also
teach good thing
and learn about what is bad Fix the agreement mistake
things
thing
.Fix the agreement mistake
things
Submitted by Siya
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraph structure to maintain logical flow in your essay. Each paragraph should present a single main idea with supporting details.
task achievement
Focus on presenting a well-rounded argument by providing more specific examples and thorough explanations.
language
Improve sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to clearly express your thoughts.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question by providing reasons for why children prefer computer games over traditional games.
task achievement
There is an attempt to discuss both the positive and negative influences on children.
content
You acknowledge the role of both parents and technology in the shift towards digital entertainment, which adds depth to your analysis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.