IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #features #comparisons
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The line graph depicts the data on the relation between age and illegal
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart shows the types of
crime
Use synonyms
took
Correct pronoun usage
that took
show examples
 place in the UK throughout the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the line chart, 12
years
Use synonyms
 was the time in life when
people
Use synonyms
 got involved with criminal acts. During
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
, around 50000 boys were responsible for different types of vulgar activities which increased dramatically in the age group of 16 and reached the peak at the age group of 20 with a
number
Use synonyms
 of 0.8 million
people
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, a drastic fall was seen and the
number
Use synonyms
 came down to 200000 in the 28
years
Use synonyms
 old category. After that, the
number
Use synonyms
 decreased gradually and
finally
Linking Words
 came to the lowest
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the 60
years
Use synonyms
 group with a
number
Use synonyms
 shy of 100000
people
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 46% of the total criminal activities in the UK were related to different types of violation which was, in fact, the highest, followed by property
crime
Use synonyms
, dealing with drugs, and
crime
Use synonyms
 related to public order with the numbers of 23%, 22% and 9% respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
years
Use synonyms
 old were at the top of the pyramid in case of
occuring
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
crime
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 violation was the most recurring
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK during the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, year, years, people, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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