IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that living in an apartment has many advantages compared to living in a detached house. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #apartment #house
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt, that some
people
Use synonyms
 live in an
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
 and some in a detached
house
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, I believe that the
last
Linking Words
 place for
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
 has more
advantagies
Correct your spelling
advantages
advantageous
 than
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 one.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I agree that having an
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
 has some benefits
such
Linking Words
 as the convenience
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 usage and many facilities in
this
Linking Words
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
 building.
This
Linking Words
 is because, every
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
 complex has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 service company, which is responsible for
maintaince
Correct your spelling
maintaining
 the building,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 owner of
flat
Correct article usage
a flat
show examples
 does not think about pipes or water suply.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a detached
house
Use synonyms
, residents have to fix a leakage by themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
, frequently first stages of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 buildings are occupied by stores and public
survicies
Correct your spelling
services
such
Linking Words
 as
burbershops
Correct your spelling
barbershops
 or SPA.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live there
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can find all facilities at arm's length. I am captivated by visiting the coffee shop in the building where I am based.
However
Linking Words
, living in a detached
house
Use synonyms
 has other advantages for
people
Use synonyms
 who like silence and a lot of free
space
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 construction does not have common walls with neighbours who can make a lot of noise.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 family with children
leve
Correct your spelling
lived
 in
flat
Correct article usage
a flat
show examples
 above
my
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
, so their kids
run
Wrong verb form
ran
show examples
 and
jump
Wrong verb form
jumped
show examples
 so hard that my ceiling
is shaking
Wrong verb form
shook
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
mancion
Correct your spelling
mansion
 usually has more free
space
Use synonyms
 than an
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
 has.
This
Linking Words
 free
space
Use synonyms
 may be organized for many rooms for dresses, for paying rooms, and for own sauna.
In addition
Linking Words
, a detached
house
Use synonyms
 has
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 dining room,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so residents can invite many friends and make parties.
Im
Correct your spelling
In
 conclusion, I firmly believe, that
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartments
 are convenient for busy
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have time
for looking
Change preposition
to look
show examples
 for facilities.
However
Linking Words
, it is better to live in a detached
house
Use synonyms
 because of
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 free
space
Use synonyms
 and
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of noisy
neigbours
Correct your spelling
neighbours
.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introductory paragraph states your viewpoint clearly, which is excellent. However, to achieve a higher score, provide a balanced discussion with both sides of the argument equally discussed.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay structure is mostly logical, it would benefit from clearer paragraph development and transitions. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, showing well-organized writing skills.
task achievement
You provide specific examples to support your argument, which strengthens your task response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • amenities
  • sustainability
  • proximity
  • communal facilities
  • security measures
  • maintenance-free living
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social dynamics
  • compact living
  • energy efficiency
  • property management
  • neighborliness
  • residential area
  • real estate market
What to do next:
Look at other essays: