IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your local newspaper published an advertisement asking people to offer time for local environmental initiatives in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. In your letter: * Describe a local volunteer project that you are passionate about * Explain what you would like to do to help * Suggest how to gather more support for the cause

#newspaper #advertisement #people #offer #time #initiatives #area #project #manager #volunteer #support
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Hi Project Manager, I'
m
 writing
this
 email to inform
Correct pronoun usage
you about
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about
Change preposition
that
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 I'
m
 interested to participate in
volunteer
Correct article usage
a volunteer
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 job in our area. I'
m
Correct article usage
an environmentist
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environmentist
Correct your spelling
environmentalist
environmental
 person and always to do something for
better
Add an article
a better
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 society. I'
m
 passionate about helping people and society for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better life. I would
to
Change the verb form
apply
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like to
involving
Wrong verb form
be involved in
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 the preservation of
park
Add an article
the park
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. In our community, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people are spending time in the
park
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 children. I have noticed
park
 in our community, a lot
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to
be improve
Change the verb form
be improved
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 by adding
bench
Correct article usage
a bench
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 near the pond, planting
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
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, keep
garbage
Correct article usage
a garbage
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 box around the corner.
Therefore
, I would offer my time for the regular
park
clean up
Add a hyphen
clean-up
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 activities. In order to gather more support for
this
 initiative, here are my suggestion Collaborative partners with school, college social media campaigns volunteer event I look forward to discussing potential opportunities for involvement and working together towards a more sustainable and eco-friendly community. Regards Dhivya Ravi
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single point or aspect of the letter.
task achievement
Ensure all required parts of the task are addressed in greater detail to improve task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and courteous.
task achievement
The response maintains an appropriate tone of enthusiasm and willingness to help.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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