IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe the media should be allowed to publish private information about people, while others are against it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Media
Use synonyms
 is a must
iportant
Correct your spelling
important
 for
publish
Change the verb form
publishing
show examples
 all about
Use synonyms
newses
Change the wording
news
pieces of news
items of news
show examples
 seemly. every person
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
this
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 know many
Use synonyms
newses
Change the wording
pieces of news
items of news
show examples
 and information. some people hope the
media
Use synonyms
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
 many news
publish
Wrong verb form
published
show examples
 about
privete infoemation
Correct your spelling
private information
. other group
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not accept
this
Linking Words
 argument. I will explain two views opinion
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 paragraph.
Body · 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
is publishing
Wrong verb form
publishes
show examples
 all around
newses
Use synonyms
 about all the
Use synonyms
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 it will be
usfull
Correct your spelling
useful
 for everyone because it is
knowladefull
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
. some
time
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 will
bunlish
Correct your spelling
bullish
publish
 some
privet
Use synonyms
 information it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 that
persion
Correct your spelling
person
 and
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 many years ago
wikkilish
Correct your spelling
ticklish
 published around the world
farmous
Correct your spelling
famous
persion
Correct your spelling
person
 details. it was
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 problem and talk everyone
aout
Correct your spelling
about
 the
matter
Use synonyms
. it has many
privet
Use synonyms
matter
Use synonyms
 about some
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. if it
publish
Change the verb form
publishes
show examples
 sometime
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can take some
immediat
Correct your spelling
immediate
 action
sometime
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 it
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 be
suiside
Correct your spelling
suicide
.
Body · 2
Moreover
Linking Words
,
other group
Change the wording
another group
other groups
show examples
 of people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 accept
this
Linking Words
 opinion. they
are not accept
Change the verb form
do not accept
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point social
media
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 publish
privet
Use synonyms
 information. I
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 they are not accept
this
Linking Words
 point. because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consider
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 only news do not care about others and do not see
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
a
Remove the article
privet news
a piece of privet news
show examples
privet
Use synonyms
 news. It will be
help
Replace the word
helpful
show examples
 to others.
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if someone did drug
usege
Correct your spelling
usage
use
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
 can not
known
Change the verb form
know
be known
show examples
 about the
matter
Use synonyms
 recently
publish
Wrong verb form
published
show examples
 about it who and
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 will be alete
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Conclusion
In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, all
Use synonyms
newses
Correct your spelling
news is
show examples
publish
Wrong verb form
published
show examples
 from social
media
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 it will publish
privet
Use synonyms
 and
usfull informations
Correct your spelling
useful information
.when it
publish
Correct subject-verb agreement
publishes
show examples
 any
informatioms
Correct your spelling
information
 that has
nagetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 and positive development. as
asocial
Correct your spelling
social
show examples
media
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 if we need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 we can get
otherwise
Linking Words
 we will
avoites
Correct your spelling
avoid
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.

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Language
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. This will help in making your ideas clearer and easier to understand.
Language
Consider refining your vocabulary. Using precise terms can significantly enhance the quality of your argumentation.
Structure
Structure your essay more clearly. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve coherence and cohesion.
Content
Provide more relevant and detailed examples to support your ideas. This will aid in developing a stronger task response.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion should clearly outline and summarize the main points of your essay. This will enhance your logical structure.
Content
Your essay attempts to address both sides of the debate on media and privacy, which is a good approach.
Structure
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public interest = when information is important for society
  • right to privacy = the right to keep personal life private
  • freedom of speech = the freedom to express ideas and report news
  • abuse of power = using power in a wrong way
  • break the law = do something illegal
  • hidden truth = facts that people do not know
  • personal data = private information about a person
  • mental health = a person's emotional and psychological well-being
  • one-sided report = a story that shows only one view
  • spread online = move quickly across the internet
  • damage a reputation = make people think badly of someone
  • serious dishonesty = very bad lying or cheating
  • public figure = a famous or important person
  • media attention = interest from newspapers, TV, and online news
  • ethical rules = moral rules about what is right and wrong
What to do next:
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