Many people today are not as fit and active as people used to be in the past and this is a danger to their long-term health. What do you think are the reasons for this ? What measures can you suggest to reduce this problem ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years,

there

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are significantly increasing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

number of young

people

Use synonyms

suffering

chronic

Change preposition

from chronic

show examples

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

has become a prevalent issue,sparking concerns among individuals and society.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it

Change the capitalization

show examples

eseential

Correct your spelling

essential

that we elaborate on an objective

analysisof

Correct your spelling

analysis of

the latent causes of

this

Linking Words

occurence

Correct your spelling

occurrence

and bring forward viable remedies. One of the primary causes of

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

Use synonyms

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

weaker physical

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

than

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the rapidly

show examples

rapidly

Change the adverb

rapid

show examples

growth of technology.

This

Linking Words

can be attributed to technology

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

convienent

Correct your spelling

convenient

transportation

Use synonyms

, which has led to

people

Use synonyms

over depend

Add a hyphen

over-depend

show examples

on vehicles and

pubulic

Correct your spelling

public

transportation

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, their

moibility

Correct your spelling

mobility

will

decrasing

Correct your spelling

decreasing

gradually and the majority of them would not treat it as a problem.

Furthermore

Linking Words

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

patten

Correct your spelling

pattern

show examples

revolution

also

Linking Words

plays a significant role.

For instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the pass

show examples

pass

Correct your spelling

past

show examples

may

choose

Verb problem

have

show examples

the farming and

industies

Correct your spelling

industries

as their work, which

indicated

Wrong verb form

indicates

show examples

old

generation

Use synonyms

guys

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

make a fortune

through

Change preposition

show examples

a physical way.

However

Linking Words

, in

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

Use synonyms

generation

Add a comma

generation,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

make

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good money just through a computer and their mind. The job

envirionment

Correct your spelling

environment

transfer

Correct subject-verb agreement

transfers

show examples

from outdoor to indoor, and it may

conduct

Verb problem

have

show examples

badly

Change the adverb

bad

show examples

consequence, which is

people

Use synonyms

reduce outdoor activities and dramatically reduce physical exercise in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. To tackle the issue of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

new

generation

Use synonyms

's long-term

health

Use synonyms

problem, several solutions can be

cconsidered

Correct your spelling

considered

Firstly

Linking Words

, addressing

people

Use synonyms

over dependent

Add a hyphen

over-dependent

show examples

transportation

Use synonyms

requires

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

provide

Fix the infinitive

to provide

show examples

health

Use synonyms

promotion information on young

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

solution is effective because it

diretly

Correct your spelling

directly

reach

Change the verb form

reaches

show examples

the target increasing

citizens

Change noun form

citizens'

citizen's

show examples

health

Use synonyms

awareness. If citizens have enough

Use synonyms

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

knowledge and awareness, they may have more motivation to make a change in their daily

rountine

Correct your spelling

routine

Secondly

Linking Words

, to combat indoor working

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

impllementing

Correct your spelling

implement

more indoor activities, which

suitable

Add a missing verb

are suitable

show examples

for

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

such

Linking Words

as dancing and Thai Chi,

this

Linking Words

exercise may not have large

movement

Fix the agreement mistake

movements

show examples

, but it may provide a chance to encourage workers to do more physical practice.

This

Linking Words

approach is likely to yield positive results as it

adresses

Correct your spelling

addresses

the root cause of job

patten

Correct your spelling

patterns

show examples

. In conclusion, the phenomenon of young

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lack of physical

health

Use synonyms

than

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation

Use synonyms

is primarily

casused

Correct your spelling

caused

wide

Correct article usage

the wide

show examples

net of

transportation

Use synonyms

and

changing

Wrong verb form

changes

show examples

in different working

pattens

Correct your spelling

patterns

show examples

. To address

this

Linking Words

pressing issue, intervention of

health

Use synonyms

awareness education and

promote

Wrong verb form

promoting

show examples

indoor practices is crucial. By doing so, we can hope to alleviate the above problems and foster a more positive and resilient society,

huangjiali617Fri Nov 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure clarity by using transitional phrases and connectives more effectively. This will improve the logical flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Revise and proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasings to enhance the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas.

Task Achievement

Add more detailed and specific examples to further illustrate your main points and arguments, which could help strengthen your essay's impact and clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which adds to the overall structure.

Task Achievement

You have addressed both parts of the question, discussing causes and solutions effectively.

Task Achievement

You’ve demonstrated a good understanding of the topic, touching important points like the impact of technology and changes in work patterns.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

381 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
an increasing number of people are buying what they need online. what are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?
In recent years, there has been a noticeable surge in online shopping as more people opt for the convenience and accessibility offered by digital platforms. This trend has significant implications for both individuals and companies, presenting a range of advantages and disadvantages.
7
band
The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowled
Communication styles have changed radically over the past 20 years, and this is largely due to the prevalence of social media websites. Some see this as a wonderful enhancement of their lifestyle, while others have a more critical opinion. This essay will outline the benefits and drawbacks of this phenomenon and will weigh up its merits.
6
band
The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and any relevant examples
Nowadays, some people believe that more accidents are done by the teenagers because of their age limit and others are like elderly ones. In this essay, I strongly believe that elder people’s age limit to be reduced because of their lack of driving, and less concentration.
7
band
Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true.
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether to have institutional qualifications to conquer or not In this essay, I am going to examine the given question from both points of view and then explain why I believe that higher education is extremely crucial in order to triumph in the forthcoming paragraphs.
6.5
band
Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think is is a positive or negative developement?
In modern life smartphones play a crucial role in human activity. While the overuse of these devices may lead to negative effects, they also bring significant benefits, such as helping us stay connected with family and friends.

Many people today are not as fit and active as people used to be in the past and this is a danger to their long-term health. What do you think are the reasons for this ? What measures can you suggest to reduce this problem ?

Word Count

an increasing number of people are buying what they need online. what are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and any relevant examples

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true.

Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think is is a positive or negative developement?