IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The
importane ot
Correct your spelling
importance of
 assisting
through
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apply
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science
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 to Promote alternative aspects of life which
was
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were
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 always debatable ,has ,now become more controversial with many People claiming, it is beneficial
while
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 others reject
this
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 nation. The Substantial influence of
this
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 trend has sparked controversy over the potential impact in recent years. Analyzing the statement and exploring
further
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, the first and
the
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foremost reason behind
this
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 is that in my opinion helping People through the
science
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 has right communication with people's
lives
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.Nowadays we have many varieties of
science
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 in different situations like Psychology/
science
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 of innovation or artificial intelligence. All
off
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of
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 them
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 considerable effects on our
lives
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 ,
for instance
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: we can facilitate our work with technology and experience pleasure
feeling
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apply
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in our
Correct your spelling
lives
lifes
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lives
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,
also
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 it impacts on the medical system,
for example
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last
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 year my uncle suffered from cancer problem and he could improve by the Power of
science
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 ,Another striking benefit in
this
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 regard is that creating many facilities with
utilizing
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the utilisation
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 of
science
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,
it
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apply
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has expanded my awareness in
the
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society even
this
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 issue eliminates
shortage
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the shortage
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 of medications and
treatmants
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treatments
.Categorically discussing,it can not be ignored that the main reason behind
this
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 is that
in
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apply
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nowdays
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nowadays
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 We have to consume of noval Phenomenon for earning particular opportunities.Probing ahead, one of the main underlying
reason
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reasons
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 behind
this
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 is that, any occurrences consist of some detrimental in
outr
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our
lives
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 .
For
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instance
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instance,
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 many health Problems are caused by our sedentary lifestyle that it originates from technology.
according to
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 individuals should observe limits in everything.Apart from
reasons
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the reasons
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 mentioned above， it can be clearly stated
that
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apply
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why many are against
of
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apply
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this
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 tread . In conclusion to the arguments aforementioned above ,one can reach
to
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apply
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a
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the
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 gist that the drawbacks of promoting our
lives
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 through
science
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 are indeed too great to ignore.

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task response
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the question and attempts to respond fully; however, the position is not consistently clear throughout the essay. It appears to support the idea that science improves life, but also mentions negatives without a clear stance. Clarifying your position will strengthen the task response score.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, but the organization within the body paragraphs could be improved. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and linked ideas. This will help increase the coherence and logical flow of the essay.
task response
There is an attempt to support points with examples, like the story of your uncle, but these examples need to directly and clearly support the main arguments. Be more specific and consistent with evidence tying back to your main thesis.
coherence cohesion
The essay starts with an interesting introduction that sets the stage for a discussion on science and its impact on human life, showing an understanding of the topic.
task response
You successfully attempt to include examples to support your points, which is crucial in task achievement. Drawing on personal examples like your uncle's recovery helps create a connection for readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advancement
  • innovations
  • sustainability
  • renewable energy
  • biotechnology
  • quality of life
  • environmental issues
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • technological
  • efficiency
  • sustainable practices
  • food security
  • agricultural
  • crop yields
  • nutrition
  • economic development
  • industries
  • poverty reduction
  • education
  • knowledge dissemination
  • informed decision-making
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