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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students choose to complete at least some part of their university studies in a foreign country. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad

#students #part #university #studies #country
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It is common among young individuals to study some of their semesters abroad.
Although
 they can get more mature and experience a new culture by staying in another
country
 for a
while
, individuals can face loneliness and communication issues.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand, international
students
 have the chance to be completely independent.
This
 is to say, they have to get out of their
comfortzone
Correct your spelling
comfort zone
 with no support from family, friends or relatives and they have to look after themselves. They obtain cooking, cleaning, budgeting and many other skills during their residence time.
In addition
, living
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 host
country
's culture can lead them to build worthy memories. Trying a whole new cuisine and
colorful
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colourful
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 dishes, visiting historical and cultural museums,
monuments
Correct word choice
and monuments
show examples
, and even learning a new
language
, which eventually will broaden their wisdom and knowledge.
For example
, many
students
 have moved to Italy
permenantly
Correct your spelling
permanently
 after they have finished their courses as Italy's historical buildings, food and warm people are mesmerizing.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, not knowing a single person in a whole
country
 can make anyone feel lonely. Young
students
 are far from anyone they know and they have to start building connections from baseline.
Thus
,
this
 might lead to depression and anxiety as it is a huge burden to handle
for
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apply
show examples
especially introverted youth.
Moreover
,
language
Add an article
the language
show examples
 barrier is another downside of studying overseas. Not knowing the destination's
language
 might have a destructive impact on getting into communities
of
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on
show examples
 campus or making friends.
Furthermore
, learning subjects in another
language
 might not be easily
managable
Correct your spelling
manageable
.
For instance
, many international
students
 in Germany struggle to get into friend groups as learning German might take several years and German citizens mostly tend to not communicate in any other languages. To add up, understanding lessons when the lecturer is not a native English speaker like in Germany is another problem as the accent might not
sounds
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sound
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 fluent. As
students
 travel overseas to study in foreign
univeristies
Correct your spelling
universities
, they get wiser and learn useful life skills.
However
, they
also
 face difficulties
to build
Change preposition
in building
show examples
 relationships and
to communicate
Verb problem
communicating
show examples
, if they are not fluent in
host
Correct article usage
the host
show examples
country
's
language
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to stick to a single term for 'hand' in phrases such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand.' It helps maintain coherence.
task achievement
Address language barriers with synonyms or simplified language when necessary. It helps in diversifying vocabulary.
task achievement
Ensure to proofread for small grammar and spelling errors like 'permenantly' and 'comfortzone,' and aim for consistency in spacing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, aiding overall structure.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with examples, which strengthens the arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view of studying abroad.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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