In many countries, children spend long hours on homework. Some people think less homework can reduce student’s stress and give them a chance to develop other skills. What is your opinion about this?

#countries #children #hours #homework #people #student’s #stress #chance #skills

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe in diversity ,a child should learn from

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

and

assignement

Correct your spelling

assignment

assignments

however

, it is important to develop other skills

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

painting and learning an instrument ,

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

basketball ,dancing and

enjoy

Wrong verb form

enjoying

show examples

the outdoors playing softball or even just going on a dog walk can teach kids

dicipline

Correct your spelling

discipline

we should never

boarderline

Correct your spelling

borderline

our

childrens

Change to a genitive case

children's

show examples

lives. They should be able to express their feelings through

mulitiple

Correct your spelling

multiple

ways .

Thats

Correct your spelling

That

why diversity is important in a

childs

Change to a genitive case

child's

show examples

life.

Submitted by nouf.alsaleh33 on Fri Nov 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion, to give it a more logical structure and flow.

Task Response

Try to elaborate more on your main points with examples or explanations to strengthen your argument. This will help in demonstrating a complete response to the question.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples that illustrate how engaging in different activities benefits children, which will make your essay more persuasive.

Content

Your essay touches on a very important aspect of a child's development: the need for diversity in learning experiences.

Content

You've mentioned various activities that children can engage in beyond homework, which shows an understanding of diverse skill development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

76 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?
Problem research formulation, designing the methodology, filling and signing informed consent, collecting samples, and analyzing them (culture, microscopic, sampling, and maintenance techniques). After that, data processing and analysis by using Microsoft Office skills and statistical validation with programs such as S.P.S.S. Finally, publishing the research papers in indexed journals as well as making not only posters but also oral research presentations.
7.5
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
I am writing this letter with regard to give a suggestion about the summer camping.
5.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Individuals in countryside tendance to move to city is globally phenomenon, and that lead to reducing the population in the rural areas, simultaneously the cities residents increase. That impacts remarkably on both areas, leading to a lack of workforce in the countryside which negatively affect the economical activities. And at the same time, the cities may suffer from significant challenges in address the newcomers basic needs.
5
band
Some people say the the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different perspectives about learning a foreign language for specific reasons. Some people believe that this attempt is useful when they use it for job or travel abroad, while others do not agree with this statement because they think that there are more reasonable purposes for mastering new languages.
7
band
Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?
It is certainly true that purchasing things on the Internet is becoming more and more famous. However, there are more merits to this than demerits , which I will be discussing both.

In many countries, children spend long hours on homework. Some people think less homework can reduce student’s stress and give them a chance to develop other skills. What is your opinion about this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say the the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?