In many countries, children spend long hours on homework. Some people think less homework can reduce student’s stress and give them a chance to develop other skills. What is your opinion about this?

i
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I
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believe in diversity ,a child should learn from
homeworks
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homework
and
assignement
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assignment
assignments
.
however
, it is important to develop other skills
such
as
,
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apply
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painting and learning an instrument ,
play
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playing
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basketball ,dancing and
enjoy
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enjoying
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the outdoors playing softball or even just going on a dog walk can teach kids
dicipline
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discipline
we should never
boarderline
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borderline
our
childrens
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children's
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lives. They should be able to express their feelings through
mulitiple
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multiple
ways .
Thats
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That
why diversity is important in a
childs
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child's
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life.
Submitted by nouf.alsaleh33 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion, to give it a more logical structure and flow.
Task Response
Try to elaborate more on your main points with examples or explanations to strengthen your argument. This will help in demonstrating a complete response to the question.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples that illustrate how engaging in different activities benefits children, which will make your essay more persuasive.
Content
Your essay touches on a very important aspect of a child's development: the need for diversity in learning experiences.
Content
You've mentioned various activities that children can engage in beyond homework, which shows an understanding of diverse skill development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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