In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, the number of
video
cameras
in apply
public areas Wrong verb form
applied
climb
for Wrong verb form
is climbing
inahbitants'
safety; Correct your spelling
inhabitants'
in contrast
, the communities think that it is important that this
happening has a ne gative
effect on Correct your spelling
negative
people
's independence. while
the
Correct article usage
apply
video
checking have
several benefits, I still believe that can overshadow drawbacks.
On the one hand, the merits of Change the verb form
has
video
surveillance so varied. On the one side, the number of crime
that lose Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
the
Correct article usage
apply
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
decline
if the police surveillant them. Fix the agreement mistake
declines
For example
, the figure of thiefs
, robbers, and so Correct your spelling
thieves
one
fall owing to the Correct your spelling
on
fatc
that police can find the Correct your spelling
fact
people
who commite
Correct your spelling
commit
commute
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
raelly fats
. On apply Rephrase
regularly
other
side, the number of Change the wording
another
people
who attac
Correct your spelling
attack
the
other citizens reduced inasmuch as they Correct article usage
apply
know
the governments Wrong verb form
knew
are
able to see every evidence.
Wrong verb form
were
On the other hand
, video
surveillance has a range of demerits. Firstly
, when the cameras
record all factors, the people
who have a
access to these Remove the article
apply
cameras
can know about the communities
lifestyles; in fact, Change noun form
community's
communities'
public
Correct article usage
the public
do
not have Change the verb form
does
a
Correct article usage
apply
privecy
. Correct your spelling
privacy
Secondly
, the cost of fixing and buying cameras
are
really high; Correct subject-verb agreement
is
additionally
, they are not the
Correct article usage
apply
benefitial
facilities; Correct your spelling
beneficial
as a result
, it is crucial that authorities invest this
money on
the elements that have Change preposition
in
positive
influence on both crime Add an article
a positive
reducing
and equipment that help citizens to have Replace the word
reduction
confortable
lives.
Correct your spelling
comfortable
To conclude
, In my opinion
the bad points of Add a comma
opinion,
video
surveillance can eclipse the good points on account of the fact that the he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
inhabitante
privet lives and the Correct your spelling
inhabitants
inhabitant
cities
facilities are more essential.Change noun form
city's
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a response to the question of whether advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the arguments can be clearer and more comprehensively developed. Try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, but the paragraphs could be linked more effectively to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas more logically.
supported main points
While the main points are supported, further development and specifics are required to reinforce your arguments more effectively. Adding more examples or detailed explanations for each point would strengthen your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion and revisit the main points.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both benefits and drawbacks of video surveillance, which shows an effort to provide a balanced argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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