IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the monetary aid from four organizations to developing countries in four different years.

The graph below shows the monetary aid from four organizations to developing countries in four different years.
The given line graph clearly illustrates the proportion of 15-year-olds with low
literacy
Use synonyms
 (reading and writing) levels
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 four different countries (Austria, Ireland,
Denmark
Use synonyms
, and Sweden).
Initially
Linking Words
,
Denmark
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest percentage of teenagers with low
literacy
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Ireland has the lowest percentage of youths with limited
literacy
Use synonyms
 at the outset of the
period
Use synonyms
. Interestingly,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the timeframe, Austria ranked
first,
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
Denmark
Use synonyms
 held the
last
Linking Words
 position. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
Denmark
Use synonyms
 was the greatest proportion, drawing in almost 20% of youth with
literacy
Use synonyms
 limitations.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage declined steadily over time, dropping to around 15% by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place, Austria
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 more than 15% of teens at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
 and dramatically increased
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2003
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 more than 20% and still moving
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 30%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the timeframe.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Ireland
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 from the lowest position with above 10%, and the proportion gradually decreased to more than 15%. Sweden
begins
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 the
period
Use synonyms
 with a teenage rate above 10% and showed a
continues
Replace the word
continued
show examples
 increase to around greater than 15% by the close of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words literacy, denmark, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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