IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that technological gadgets like smart phones have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that they have made life more complex and stressful. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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With the introduction
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 various gadgets, the lives of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people have changed over the period of
time
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. From telephones to smartphones and other devices which are giving more comfort than ever before.
Whereas
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 consider that
this
Linking Words
 advancement has actually made the livelihood a
lot
Use synonyms
 more difficult and stressful. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will try to discuss both views with my opinion later.
Firstly
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, the beginning of the advanced devices caught the eye of
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of people all around the
world
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.
Hence
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, numerous individuals can be seen spending
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
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 of
time
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 on these.
Moreover
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,
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 are connecting different
communties
Correct your spelling
communities
,
Correct word choice
and religion
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religion
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religions
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 from all around the
world
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 not just for getting to know but for
work
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 purposes too.
For instance
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, residents of India can
work
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 for America and can earn lump sum money.
Moreover
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, there are no worries of getting out of
house
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the house
show examples
, waiting for buses and spending your
time
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 moving to and from
work
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 as smart laptops and computers give access to
work
Use synonyms
 from home which actually adds comfort and easiness to life.
Secondly
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, there are opponents who believe these things have taken away calmness and simplicity. Since mass can be seen getting stuck into things like games, social media apps and
Advance Intelligence
Replace the word
advanced intelligence
show examples
 which
is suppose
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is supposed
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 to be very dangerous.
For instance
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, I see numerous
individual
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individuals
show examples
 put a
lot
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 of
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
into
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 these gadgets and can be seen
so
Correct word choice
as
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 anxious all the
time
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.
Such
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health is deteriorating swiftly since there is no physical interaction
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
world
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.
To conclude
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, I have
opinion
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the opinion
an opinion
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 that appliances are not just giving everything for free but
also
Linking Words
 taking a
lot
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 of things from humankind. Maybe it is quite difficult to understand loopholes at present
however
Linking Words
 soon in
future
Add an article
the future
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 will face these and
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not have
anyother
Correct your spelling
any other
 option than to bear it.

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introduction advice
The introductory paragraph provides a clear outline of what will be discussed, but it could be more concise. Aim to clearly present both views without repetition to establish a strong foundation for the essay.
main body advice
In the main sections, ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main point supported by adequate examples. There are instances where ideas could be more thoroughly developed or supported with more specific examples.
conclusion advice
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's content, presenting a clear opinion. To enhance impact, try to include a summary of the key points discussed.
balance highlight
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
example usage highlight
The use of examples in explaining the impact of technology on daily life is evident, which helps in illustrating the points.
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