IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that living in a big city has more advantages than living in a small town. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in an urban city
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
show examples
 many
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
weights than being in a village some would agree with
this
Linking Words
. Personally, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 for many factors, but the two main reasons are
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
lot's
Change noun form
lots
show examples
 of services the residents will fullfed with, and the
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
 that holds of making the individuals enhance the quality of their lives Actually,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are many considerations about the advanced services provided to the people who are living in big
cities
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as applying the advancements in medical care or even educational equipment.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 could help the residents get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accurate diagnoses for their illnesses,
along with
Linking Words
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 treatment they could ever have compared with
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
show examples
a small clinics
Correct the article-noun agreement
small clinics
a small clinic
show examples
 would provide to them
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 towns.
Along with
Linking Words
 that, the teaching methods at more advanced residential places
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will be more involved with technological ways, like it would be more attractive for students to help them understand the subjects well
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
 keeping them motivated for
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
year
Correct word choice
whole year
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
smart
Correct article usage
a smart
show examples
board
Fix the agreement mistake
boards
show examples
 in each class at
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
 schools in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
major
cities
Use synonyms
, would contribute
in let
Change preposition
to letting
show examples
 the students focus well or even
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 the desire of wanting to participate in class just
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
intereact
Correct your spelling
interact
 with the smart board.
In another
Change preposition
Another
show examples
 reason why I believe growing up in large
cities
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 positives
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 rural
cities
Use synonyms
, is the ability to make our lives much easier
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 being around
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of fields,
could
Correct pronoun usage
which could
show examples
 help the persons to find the appropriate path that suits their desires. That should be considered as a primary role in
defined
Change the form of the verb
defining
show examples
 the individual intrinsic, which will help them to be creative
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their field more.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 there are better various of transportation all around the city which will make the people to
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 around easily.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some individuals might think that living in huge
cities
Use synonyms
 would have many benefits for the
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 more than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are living in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
. And I could not agree more with them, because of important services in the big
cities
Use synonyms
 which rural places don't provide for their residents.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with consistent use of topic sentences to improve coherence.
task achievement
Expand on main points with more detailed examples to enhance task achievement.
language use
Work on precise language to convey ideas more clearly and accurately.
task achievement
You provided a clear stance on the topic, showing confidence in your position.
coherence cohesion
You've included a logical progression of ideas which aids overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, maintaining a standard structure.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: