These days people pay more attention to artists (writers, painters and so on) and give less importance to science and technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's world,
people
have different views about weather
arts or science is the most significant. Since Correct your spelling
whether
that
a variety of Correct word choice
apply
generation
may cause Fix the agreement mistake
generations
different
in Replace the word
differences
people
's preferences. However
, this
essay will discuss what the
most Correct article usage
apply
people
pay attention
to, and I will provde
my opinion.
Correct your spelling
provide
Firstly
, the concept of artists
have
many meanings, Change the verb form
has
for example
, singers, actors or any kind of proformers
. Correct your spelling
performers
performer
Since that
lately, generation Z (which are Change preposition
That
people
born in 2000s
) dominated Change the article
the 2000s
the
social media applications, Correct article usage
apply
they
become more Correct word choice
and they
intersted
in international Correct your spelling
interested
artists
then
Replace the word
than
scientists
. These artists
have millions of follwers
, which is the reason behind Correct your spelling
followers
people
pay attention
more to the
these Remove the article
apply
artists
.
However
, I totally agree that artiste
Correct your spelling
artists
influence
a Change the verb form
influences
hole
Correct your spelling
whole
socaity
more than Correct your spelling
society
scientists
and technologests
. Correct your spelling
technologists
Which in
my point of view is Correct pronoun usage
In
concedered
a sham, since Correct your spelling
considered
that
science can Correct determiner usage
apply
protact
our future as humans. Correct your spelling
protect
For example
, in medical
field, Add an article
the medical
people
who discover cures to
illnesses are the Change preposition
for
scientists
. This
is Add an article
the way
a way
way
we should encourage Correct your spelling
why
people
to stop paying attention
to artists
and follwe
the future of our Correct your spelling
follow
followed
socaity
(Correct your spelling
society
the
Correct article usage
apply
scientists
and technologests
).
Correct your spelling
technologists
To conclude
, even though I believe that people
pay more attention
to artists
and give less importance to science and technology, I state that if people
pay more attention
to scientists
and technologests
Correct your spelling
technologists
thier
Correct your spelling
their
awerness
will level up more. In Correct your spelling
awareness
addetion
, no Correct your spelling
addition
stupit
ideas will be Correct your spelling
stupid
showen
.Correct your spelling
shown
Submitted by layan992015 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples to make your arguments stronger. For instance, citing specific studies or real-life examples where science and technology are given less attention could enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear logical structure. You might want to separate your ideas more distinctly into paragraphs, each with a main point and supporting detail.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistent tense and grammatical forms throughout the essay to improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, providing a good overview and summary of your views on the topic.
task achievement
The essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt adequately, discussing the attention given to arts versus science and technology.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite