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Writing Samples
Band 5

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#plan #museum #changes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The picture shows two plans for a
museum
Use synonyms
 in 1998, and in 2008. The picture shows the changes that have happened over a decade.
According to
Linking Words
 the picture, there is a considerable difference between the maps. Most of the sections have
relocated
Add a missing verb
been relocated
show examples
 and expanded,
such
Linking Words
 as
clothes
Correct article usage
the clothes
show examples
room
Use synonyms
, shopping section, and WC.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a new restaurant has been added to the
museum
Use synonyms
. In 1998, the permanent exhibition was located on the both west and east sides,
While
Linking Words
 on the newer map, it is only on the east side and it has expanded to the whole east area. The restroom, the shopping section and the clothing
room
Use synonyms
 were in the southwest of the
museum
Use synonyms
 in 1998 and all of them were in a small
room
Use synonyms
. In the new map, all of the has expanded and relocated. The clothing
room
Use synonyms
 and the shopping section now are in the southwest attached to the entrance and exit
room
Use synonyms
 which is in the middle of the southern point. A new restaurant is in the northwest of the
museum
Use synonyms
 and it is attached to the WC and a small cafe. The cafe's sitting area is in the centre of the
museum
Use synonyms
 with a view of trees,
while
Linking Words
 it was only a garden before. There is
also
Linking Words
 a temporary exhibition
that is
Linking Words
 new too.
Submitted by rozakoohvand on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, room with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rectangular shape
  • central garden area
  • symmetrically arranged
  • expanded galleries
  • visitor flow management
  • temporary exhibition space
  • permanent gallery
  • visitor facilities
  • customer service focus
  • dedicated children's area
  • expanded restroom facilities
  • museum gardens
  • unoccupied outdoor space
  • shift towards long-term exhibits
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