Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups, However, sharing personal information on social media have risks. Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #risks

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Widely

spread

Verb problem

widespread use

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using

Verb problem

apply

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social

media

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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significantly

Change the adverb

significant

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impact on

large

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a large

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amount of

population

Correct article usage

the population

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While

Linking Words

some

people

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though

Correct your spelling

thought

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that sharing

pravite

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private

information

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on social

media

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have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some potential risks, I still believe that social

media

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have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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benifits

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benefits

than

it's

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its

show examples

drawbacks. Admittedly, uploading personal data on social

media

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platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

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may increase the risk of

leking

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leaking

information

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and

cyber bullying

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cyberbullying

show examples

. If the social

media

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cybersecurity

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measurements

messuraments

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messuraments are

messuraments were

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not

safty

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safe

enough to protect the

data bases

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databases

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system, the user

information

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may

suffuring

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suffering

the

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apply

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cyber attacks, which means

digital

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the digital

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system

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systems

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will

been

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show examples

hack

Wrong verb form

hacked

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by hackers and induce

lakage

Correct your spelling

leakage

information

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. On the other side, many social

media

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user

Fix the agreement mistake

users

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

who

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upload their

photoes

Correct your spelling

photos

Change preposition

show examples

Add an article

the platform

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platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

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will easily

recieve

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receive

critisis

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criticism

from other

people

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. Since

the

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apply

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social

media

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platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

are open to

public

Add an article

the public

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which

Correct pronoun usage

this

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indicated

Wrong verb form

indicates

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that everyone can leave

the

Correct article usage

apply

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negetive

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negative

comments, that may be

voilent

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violent

, offensive, and non-critical.

This

Linking Words

negetive

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negative

feedback may

destory

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destroy

a person in a short period.

Although

Linking Words

social

media

Use synonyms

have many negative

influence

Change to a plural noun

influences

show examples

, I would say that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, social

media

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promote

Correct subject-verb agreement

promotes

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

close-knits

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close-knit

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conncetions

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connections

connection

between individuals

Correct word choice

and to

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community. Social

media

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boost

Correct subject-verb agreement

boosts

show examples

people

Use synonyms

's communication more

effective

Change the word

effectively

show examples

and

convenient

Change the word

conveniently

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for example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

allow sending

Wrong verb form

are allowed to send

show examples

messages

Change preposition

apply

show examples

anytime

Replace the word

any time

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and anywhere, and there will be no district barrier

for

Change preposition

show examples

communication.

Secondly

Linking Words

, social

media

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provide large personalized

information

Use synonyms

for users, which means they will

recommendation

Replace the word

recommend

show examples

information

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

reel

Fix the agreement mistake

reels

show examples

and

video

Fix the agreement mistake

videos

show examples

, by analysing personal hobbies and habits. Watching

friend's

Correct article usage

a friend's

show examples

story

Fix the agreement mistake

stories

show examples

and

screen

Wrong verb form

screening

show examples

the reel

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

an important and

uninsteadable

Correct your spelling

unstealable

part of

recreation

Replace the word

recreational

show examples

activities for young

people

Use synonyms

. In short, it is true that social

media

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will bring certain negative drawbacks for

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

, but in my opinion

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

Use synonyms

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

more advantages than disadvantages

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since social

media

Use synonyms

already become

Change the article

show examples

unseparate

Correct your spelling

inseparable

part of our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Submitted by huangjiali617 on Sat Nov 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay introduces key ideas clearly and follows a logical structure, with each paragraph connected seamlessly to the next.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific, relevant examples and ensure that each point directly addresses the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your arguments effectively.

task achievement

Your essay covered both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, showing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
73
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups, However, sharing personal information on social media have risks. Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country

Some educationalist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweight the disadvantages.

In recent years some countries have experienced vary rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country sides. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are the problems? How might they be reduced?