Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups, However, sharing personal information on social media have risks. Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Widely
spread
of Verb problem
widespread use
using
social Verb problem
apply
media
have
a Correct subject-verb agreement
has
significantly
impact on Change the adverb
significant
large
amount of Change the article
a large
population
. Correct article usage
the population
While
some people
though
that sharing Correct your spelling
thought
pravite
Correct your spelling
private
information
on social media
have
some potential risks, I still believe that social Correct subject-verb agreement
has
media
have
more Correct subject-verb agreement
has
benifits
than Correct your spelling
benefits
it's
drawbacks.
Admittedly, uploading personal data on social Correct your spelling
its
media
platform
may increase the risk of Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
leking
Correct your spelling
leaking
information
and cyber bullying
. If the social Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
media
cybersecurity Correct your spelling
measurements
messuraments
not Add a verb
messuraments are
messuraments were
safty
enough to protect the Correct your spelling
safe
data bases
system, the user Correct your spelling
databases
information
may suffuring
Correct your spelling
suffering
the
cyber attacks, which means Correct article usage
apply
digital
Add an article
the digital
system
will Fix the agreement mistake
systems
been
Change the verb form
be
hack
by hackers and induce Wrong verb form
hacked
lakage
of Correct your spelling
leakage
information
. On the other side, many social media
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
they
upload their Correct pronoun usage
who
photoes
Correct your spelling
photos
in
Change preposition
on
Add an article
the platform
platform
will easily Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
critisis
from other Correct your spelling
criticism
people
. Since the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
platform
are open to Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
public
, Add an article
the public
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
indicated
that everyone can leave Wrong verb form
indicates
the
Correct article usage
apply
negetive
comments, that may be Correct your spelling
negative
voilent
, offensive, and non-critical. Correct your spelling
violent
This
negetive
feedback may Correct your spelling
negative
destory
a person in a short period.
Correct your spelling
destroy
Although
social media
have many negative influence
, I would say that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Change to a plural noun
influences
Firstly
, social media
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
a
Correct article usage
apply
close-knits
Correct your spelling
close-knit
conncetions
between individuals Correct your spelling
connections
connection
to
community. Social Correct word choice
and to
media
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
people
's communication more effective
and Change the word
effectively
convenient
, Change the word
conveniently
for example
, people
allow sending
messages Wrong verb form
are allowed to send
in
Change preposition
apply
anytime
and anywhere, and there will be no district barrier Replace the word
any time
for
communication. Change preposition
to
Secondly
, social media
provide large personalized information
for users, which means they will recommendation
Replace the word
recommend
information
, such
as reel
and Fix the agreement mistake
reels
video
, by analysing personal hobbies and habits. Watching Fix the agreement mistake
videos
friend's
Correct article usage
a friend's
story
and Fix the agreement mistake
stories
screen
the reel Wrong verb form
screening
become
an important and Change the verb form
becomes
uninsteadable
part of Correct your spelling
unstealable
recreation
activities for young Replace the word
recreational
people
.
In short, it is true that social media
will bring certain negative drawbacks for population
, but in my opinion Correct article usage
the population
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
bring
more advantages than disadvantagesCorrect subject-verb agreement
brings
,
since social Remove the comma
apply
media
already become a
Change the article
an
unseparate
part of our daily Correct your spelling
inseparable
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay introduces key ideas clearly and follows a logical structure, with each paragraph connected seamlessly to the next.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples and ensure that each point directly addresses the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Your essay covered both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, showing a balanced perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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