There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays there is many pressures for young

people

Use synonyms

to have good

school

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result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

in academic

subjects

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. It is difficult for young

people

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to get to university and

for finding

Change preposition

to find

show examples

work after

eductions

Correct your spelling

education

show examples

. So some

people

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think that

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

are not as good for

children

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be learn

Change the verb form

learn

show examples

school

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and they should only do academic

subjects

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. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement and think

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

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are

also

Linking Words

good for learning and developing

children

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Firstly

Linking Words

I think that

school

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is not only a place for learning academic

subjects

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and that other

subjects

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can be very useful at

school

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, when

children

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learn

physic

Replace the word

physical

show examples

education it is not only

academical

Replace the word

academic

show examples

learning but

also

Linking Words

other things.

Linking Words

Also

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Also,

show examples

children

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can learn how can they be

good

Change preposition

in good

show examples

health and

this

Linking Words

is important for their life. Because many

people

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have obesity and

this

Linking Words

is not a good situation. If

children

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learn physical education they would not have obesity as much.

Linking Words

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

show examples

I think that it is useful for

school

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for teaching other things at

school

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like cookery. I think that

this

Linking Words

is a good skill for

people

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to learn for

the

Change the word

their

show examples

health and

also

Linking Words

there are many jobs with cookery.

For example

Linking Words

, maybe you can open a restaurant or have

difference

Replace the word

different

show examples

cooking work.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is a good situation for some

children

Use synonyms

and is good

to learn

Change preposition

for learning

show examples

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

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. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

I think that

children

Use synonyms

can learn academic and

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

and

school

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and

this

Linking Words

is the best thing for

children

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however

Linking Words

, maybe there can be

after

Add a hyphen

after-school

show examples

school

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lessons or clubs for

children

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to learn skills and teachings that are

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

and be more academic

Change preposition

during

show examples

school

Use synonyms

time.

huangjiali617Sat Nov 09 2024

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introduction conclusion

Try to further develop your introduction by clearly stating your position and outlining the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will set a clearer roadmap for the reader.

logical structure

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas. Use linking words effectively to demonstrate relationships between ideas.

supported main points

Incorporate specific examples or evidence to support your points more thoroughly and convincingly.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have clearly stated your opinion and maintained it throughout the essay, which demonstrates confidence and clarity in your point of view.

complete response

You considered multiple perspectives on the issue by discussing both academic and non-academic subjects, which enriches the depth of the response.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

You stayed over at a friend’s house last weekend and think that you left your watch there. In your letter: Thank your friend Describe your watch Tell them what you want them to do

Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.