Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There has been a contentious debate over the use of social
media
to
mantain
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maintain
people connected with their relatives. Despite the advantages that it presents, there should be some control over what is shared among others and how it affects our
life
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lives
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. Having said that, I am inclined to believe that social
media
has
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
up
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apply
show examples
communication barriers and, nowadays, forging and keeping in touch with friends and family who are far away is easier than ever. First and foremost, it is important to note that social
media
has helped us to share our daily life with our relatives,
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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so called
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so-called
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followers. If I were to tell anyone about
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
advances, no one would believe the wide range of opportunities social
media
brings us. From talking to our friends to keep updated.
Furthermore
, what 20 years ago took days, or even weeks, to be transmitted, now is up to a click. Technology and social
media
has
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have
show examples
led to a fast and easy way of communication.
In contrast
, it can adversely impact
in
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apply
show examples
our privacy. What we share and post throughout the internet can have detrimental consequences.
In addition
, the data which is generated by the users of social
media
is collected and used by companies for business purposes.
Hence
, it is crucial that we should be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
about the
information
we are sharing with others. When it comes to sensible
information
it
migh
Correct your spelling
might
be a different path to transmit it.
Besides
these disadvantages, if we are aware of the
information
we are managing and how to tackle
this possible outcomes
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this possible outcome
these possible outcomes
show examples
, nothing harmful might happen.
To conclude
, social
media
has
stranghen
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strengthen
our communication, allowing us to stay
tunned
Correct your spelling
tuned
show examples
on recent news and other's
life
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lives
show examples
. Taking into account that some
information
could be gathered, it is important to be responsible when it comes to
share
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sharing
show examples
some type of
information
.
Submitted by dar.rodriguez.ramos on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Specific examples can help illustrate your points more clearly and convincingly.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay thoroughly addresses the prompt question by examining both the advantages and disadvantages in equal measure. This will allow you to achieve a more balanced argument and a clearer task response.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to syntax and grammatical errors such as "mantain" (maintain), "broaden up" (broaden), and "stranghen" (strengthen) for better clarity in your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and both are connected to each other effectively, enhancing the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow and understand the reasoning behind the points discussed.
task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the topic, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of social media usage.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported by relevant arguments, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
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