In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fiteness trainer than doing any sport or excercise? what are the reasons for that? is it a positive or negative development?

It is true that in some nations,

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

individuals

Use synonyms

love to hire their own

fitness

Use synonyms

trainer

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of participating in any sports or

excercising

Correct your spelling

exercising

activity.

This

Linking Words

trend happens because of getting

weekely

Correct your spelling

weekly

plans,

motivation

Correct word choice

and motivation

show examples

and having flexible scheduling is like a boon for them.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

is a negative development as it

lessen

Change the verb form

lessens

show examples

their interest in games and their social involvement in the community. One of the main reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

hiring

Correct article usage

a fiteness

show examples

fiteness

Correct your spelling

fitness

Use synonyms

trainer

Fix the agreement mistake

trainers

show examples

is that

people

Use synonyms

have

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

hectic

scehedule

Correct your spelling

schedules

and they do not have any adequate knowledge of maintaining their health properly.

That is

Linking Words

why, they hired these

trainers

Use synonyms

to get tips

Change preposition

for

show examples

staying fit and healthy and

also

Linking Words

they provide workout and diet plans to

individuals

Use synonyms

to improve their health constantly. By following the instructions of their personalized

trainer

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

are able to achieve their

fitness

Use synonyms

goals easily.

Moreover

Linking Words

zym

Correct your spelling

gym

and exercises have their timed sessions but by choosing

personal

Correct article usage

a personal

show examples

trainer

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

can meet them once in a week or several times

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a week which is not possible in other classes. Now,

individuals

Use synonyms

can do

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

simply at

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

home via virtual training with their

trainers

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

way, they can get instant feedback from their

trainers

Use synonyms

and learn more about their health by doing different

excercises

Correct your spelling

exercises

in an accurate position.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, personal

fitness

Use synonyms

trainer

Fix the agreement mistake

trainers

show examples

met

Wrong verb form

meet

show examples

hundreds of

people

Use synonyms

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

show examples

basis and they better know how to motivate and encourage others who lost their hope

to become

Change preposition

of becoming

show examples

slim and healthy.

For instance

Linking Words

, those

individuals

Use synonyms

are obese and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

want to look like others

then

Linking Words

they take a turn towards

fitness

Use synonyms

trainers

Use synonyms

who are more accountable for achieving their goals.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are two reasons why I think that it is a negative development.

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

feel more isolated and

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

touch with their friends and other

people

Use synonyms

when they get personal coaching from their

trainers

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

People

show examples

people

Use synonyms

learn a lot of things when they get

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

in social gatherings and learn how to develop soft skills which is not possible in personalized sessions. Another reason is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

show

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of interest in participating

different

Change preposition

in different

show examples

sports and other activities which not only

lower

Correct subject-verb agreement

lowers

show examples

their confidence to succeed but

also

Linking Words

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

them more

dependant

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

trainers

Use synonyms

who

charged

Wrong verb form

charge

show examples

handsome

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

from them. To

recaptulate

Correct your spelling

recapitulate

, more

people

Use synonyms

hired

fitness

Use synonyms

trainers

Use synonyms

because they provide healthy tips,

Correct your spelling

encouragement

encouragment

Correct your spelling

encouragement

and having elastic scheduling proves

Correct your spelling

advantageous

advantagoeus

Correct your spelling

advantageous

for them but I think showing

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of interest in sports and less participation in group gatherings is like

Change the article

show examples

adverse trend.

kaurjagdeep2097

Nov 9, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea to improve the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points, enhancing the detail in your task response.

coherence cohesion

Use varied sentence structures to improve readability and maintain the reader's interest.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay offers a clear introduction that outlines the topic well and previews the main points.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main ideas and provides closure to your essay.

complete response

You've addressed both questions comprehensively, discussing both reasons and evaluating the impact clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

423 words

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fiteness trainer than doing any sport or excercise? what are the reasons for that? is it a positive or negative development?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Countries with longer working hours enjoy an economic advantage, but they suffer from certain negative social effects, do you agree or disagree?

Some people think computer and internet are important in children's study , but other think students can learn effectively in school and with teachers . Discuss both sides and give your own opinion .