Do you think people should start their work early age for so that they can lead a happy life after retirement?

#people #work #age #life #retirement

Because of longer

life

span

Add a comma

span,

show examples

people

need to work till

older

Add an article

an older

show examples

age. Thousands of individuals

considere

Correct your spelling

consider

considered

that they should

hared

Verb problem

have

show examples

work from

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age as a solution. I deeply agree with

this

statement that it is not only beneficial

fore

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

people

but

also

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. I will discuss

details

Correct article usage

the details

show examples

in the following paragraphs. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a wide range of

reeasons

Correct your spelling

reasons

Firstly

, the young stars have

capability

Change the article

the capability

show examples

to work hard. They can struggle

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time

without any

break

Fix the agreement mistake

breaks

show examples

. No need to spend

huge

Fix the agreement mistake

a lot of

show examples

time

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

taking

rest

Correct article usage

a rest

show examples

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

show examples

the young workers can face any challenging moment,

whereas

old employees

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fail to do

this

. They can be disappointed easily. After that, young

people

can keep in mind each and everything for

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

period. But the oldest

peresons

Correct your spelling

persons

person

can forget any crucial matter.

Besides

, youth workers

con

Correct your spelling

can

show examples

move

one

Change preposition

from one

show examples

place to

anorthers

Correct your spelling

another

without any hassle. On the flip side,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

oldere

Correct your spelling

older

employees need to take their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

with them.

As a result

, it can be more expensive

Furthermore

, when

people

go to retirement at the

last

moment of

life

this

time

can be crucial for them. They are not

abale

Correct your spelling

able

to move

one

Change preposition

from one

show examples

to another without

otheres

Correct your spelling

others

cooperate

Wrong verb form

cooperating

show examples

. If they don't have resources no one take care

them

Change preposition

of them

show examples

In addition

, they have to take a lot of medicines. At the same

time

, to keep fit

Correct word choice

and health

show examples

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

, healthy food should be

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

every single day. So, if they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

have extra currency

people

would be disappointed

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

daily

life

. To feel

comfort

Replace the word

comfortable

show examples

, need to

weare

Correct your spelling

wear

varities

Correct your spelling

varieties

dresses

Change preposition

of dresses

show examples

. In conclusion, it can be noticed from

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

discussion that

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

should

be choose

Change the verb form

be chosen

show examples

from early

life

so that

people

can overcome all tough

sisuations

Correct your spelling

situations

end

Change preposition

at end

show examples

of the

life

Submitted by nazmulrafi023 on Sun Nov 10 2024

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Make sure to check for spelling and grammar errors such as 'conside', 'reeasons', 'anorthers', 'abale', etc. Simple mistakes can distract the reader.

coherence

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task response

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structure

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your essay.

task response

You have addressed the topic directly and provided a viewpoint which is consistent throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you think people should start their work early age for so that they can lead a happy life after retirement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Some people have argued that there will be no need for art galleries in the future because people can view works of art freely on the internet. Compare and contrast the benefits of viewing art in real life with viewing it on the internet. In your opinion, which is better?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and museum, is a wast of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?