IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people prefer to eat meals at restaurants, while others like to prepare and eat food in their own home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

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Few people prefer restaurant
foods
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while
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 others love to prepare grub in their homes. Honestly, I love homemade cuisine because it's healthy and made from high-quality ingredients, unlike eateries that sell junk with low-quality ingredients for a large profit margin. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss extensively my preference for home food.
To begin
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 with, most
foods
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 prepared at the house are healthy and of appropriate quality.
However
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, meals produced at most restaurants are not hygienically prepared.
This
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 is because the majority of eateries are more particular about profit and
therefore
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 prepare their delicacies in a dirty environment.
For instance
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, one day I was coming home from work and was famished.
Then
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, I stopped by a restaurant to dine. I placed my order and
while
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 eating I saw an ant in my dish.
This
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 made me furious and since
then
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 I have never eaten in restaurants again. " once bitten twice shy" they say.
Moreover
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, one can actually control the type and quantity of ingredients to use in house
foods
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. Unlike some restaurants that use spices and excess salt. The latter could lead to high blood pressure.
In addition
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, the majority are now aware of healthy eating, especially balanced diets.
For instance
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, high sugar intake could cause health challenges like diabetes too. As a matter of fact,
this
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 can be greatly controlled in our kitchen. In conclusion, meals prepared at the house are gorgeous and delicious compared to restaurant
foods
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 that are full of junk and pricey.
Hence
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, ripping off the customers of their hard-earned money. In view of the aforementioned reasons, eating at an apartment is affordable, healthy and safe.

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between your paragraphs. Try to ensure that each point naturally leads to the next for improved cohesion.
task achievement
Include a wider range of specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Provide more concrete evidence to support your points.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas to make them more comprehensive. This will enhance the clarity and fullness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay's thesis well.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your preference for homemade meals.
task achievement
You made a strong point about health concerns related to restaurant food, supported by a personal anecdote.
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