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Band 4

The wheat production of Australia increased around 23% in the year of 2023. However, in the nest following year, it experienced a slight decrease of 22%.

#wheat #production #australia #year #nest #decrease
The wheat production of Australia increased
around
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by around
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 23% in the year
of
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apply
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2023.
However
, in the
nest
Correct your spelling
next
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 following year, it experienced a slight decrease of 22%. Around 34 % of people commute to
office
Correct article usage
the office
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 by foot.
Overall
, students spent around 34% of their income
in
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on
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 accommodation. Students in country A spent a high expenditure
in
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on
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 books.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to improve structure and coherence. This will guide the reader through your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure statistics and data presented are logically connected. Presenting them in a linked manner will enhance clarity of your main argument.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples or explanations to support the statistical data and statements you present, showing their relevance to the topic.
Task Achievement
Clarify the relationship between different data points and topics discussed, aiding overall clarity and comprehension of ideas.
Task Achievement
You included relevant statistical data to make your point, which is crucial for task achievement. It contributes strength to your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains short, clear sentences that are easy to follow, contributing positively to coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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