In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
The
must
Correct your spelling
most
widely
Change the word
wide
issie
nowadays is that young Correct your spelling
issue
people
do not have a lot of Use synonyms
time
because of studies. Everyone tries their best and Use synonyms
work
hard for their Correct subject-verb agreement
works
future
but that not Use synonyms
giving
them Wrong verb form
give
a
leisure Correct article usage
apply
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
that
.
One of the main aspects of the problem is Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
high Correct article usage
the
expresions
from their parents. it is not Correct your spelling
expressions
expression
the
secret that young Correct article usage
a
people
looking for Use synonyms
a
confidence, pride and happiness first of all from them. It is very Remove the article
apply
improtant
and Correct your spelling
important
that is
making them feel more nervous. The other main problem is a fear of Linking Words
Use synonyms
future
. As I said - everyone tries their best to have a Correct article usage
the future
cheerfull
and good life. Everybody wants to see themself in a famous university, great company, having a high salary… But it needs Correct your spelling
cheerful
a very hard work
for that. So Remove the article
very hard work
a very hard job
that is
why most of them Linking Words
forgetting
themself in those Wrong verb form
forget
hardwork
system.
Correct your spelling
hard work
However
, we have to understand that Linking Words
this
type of life is not forever. We Linking Words
also
have to know that in Linking Words
future
it will give Use synonyms
a big triggers
or unfortunately - a deep depression. To tackle Correct the article-noun agreement
a big trigger
big triggers
this
problem Linking Words
people
should change their educational system. It means - Use synonyms
cut
their homework and work to Wrong verb form
cutting
a
good Remove the article
apply
time
management. To not be in Use synonyms
the
trouble, young Correct article usage
apply
people
have to make their own Use synonyms
strategy
and own planning to not fluctuate Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
of
Change preposition
apply
the
tasks from Correct article usage
apply
task
.
Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can come to Add an article
the task
a
conclusion that young Correct article usage
the
people
must Use synonyms
to
have no worries Change the verb form
apply
of
their Change preposition
about
future
and how it will go. They only have to find their Use synonyms
time
and everything will go Use synonyms
good
.Change the word
well
Submitted by dnm.best on
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coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas needs improvement. Ensure each paragraph logically connects to the next. Use linking words and phrases to better organize your ideas.
task achievement
You need to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your position and provide clearer insight into why you believe these are the causes and solutions.
general
Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity, making your ideas more accessible to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction highlighting the issue of young people's lack of leisure time due to studies, which sets a clear context for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is present and attempts to summarize the discussed points, providing a sense of closure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.