Most people enjoy holidays and travel and tourism is a billion-dollar industry. All over the world people are traveling either for business or pleasure or both. People who can afford to or have free time go away frequently for short holidays or on weekends. Others who are working or studying try to take a holiday at least once a year, away from home and work or studies. What are the benefits of travel? Give good reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

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of people are spending their holidays travelling, and

this

Linking Words

has become one of the most well-paid industries. Some people would go often for short vacations, and others

are enjoying

Wrong verb form

enjoy

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going to another country once a year, depending on their budget. Travelling has a variety of benefits for our mental health,

also

Linking Words

it helps us to expand our views about the world and other cultures. On the one hand, travelling is a very important element of our development considering that exploring new places increases our senses

such

Linking Words

as smell, visual observation, and hearing, and

also

Linking Words

enhances our sense of

observations

Fix the agreement mistake

observation

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, some people prefer to go for a city break and explore

cultural

Add an article

the cultural

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heritage of other nations,

therefore

Linking Words

, they learn about different customs, try new

cuisine

Fix the agreement mistake

cuisines

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or they might interact with locals.

For instance

Linking Words

, an article from 2015 explained that learning about new cultures will benefit our critical thinking and will increase our IQ.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, travelling can benefit enormously our mental health. I can say that outdoor activities are a great way to recreate ourselves.

Moreover

Linking Words

, activities

such

Linking Words

as hiking, mountain climbing, and jogging in the forest, can help us reconnect with nature.

For example

Linking Words

, some studies showed that regularly exploring new places will decrease the risk of dementia by 60%. In conclusion, I believe that tourism can benefit both the locals and

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

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. Cultural exchange is a great way to understand more about each other and to accept and cherish our differences.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it brings lots of benefits for our mental and physical condition.

tomavaleria42

Nov 10, 2024

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task achievement

Work on developing more specific examples to support your points. Adding real statistics or case studies could enhance the relevance and strength of your arguments.

task achievement

Consider providing more detailed and clear explanations for some of your ideas. This will help in making your argument more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Try to maintain a consistent flow between paragraphs. Although your points are understandable, linking them seamlessly could enhance overall cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the benefits of travel.

coherence cohesion

The essay concludes well by summarizing the main points and reiterating the benefits of travel.

task achievement

You successfully identify the main benefits of travel in terms of both personal development and mental health, providing a broad perspective on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Your opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

The use of phones,tablets, and other devices while walking in public places has been a concern for many commentstors. What hazards can arise if people are guided by such devices when walking down the street? How could these problems can be solved?