Nowadays, full-time university students tend to focus on their studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #focus #people #activities

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There are a majority of

students

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, who concentrate only on their universities' study

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apply

show examples

and do not consider other

activities

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. I personally believe that It is

essenital

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essential

for them to learn

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show examples

avriety

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variety

skills

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which they will need in the future.

This

Linking Words

essay explores the advantages of doing different

activities

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the drawbacks of focusing only on their curriculum. Studying full-time in a university is a gold opportunity to

socialized

Wrong verb form

socialise

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with peers and

attending

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attend

show examples

to different teams and groups in their

intrest

Correct your spelling

interest

fields. It not only improves their communication

skills

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Correct word choice

but is

show examples

a great practice for their performances in the future.

For instance

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, During my study, I

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

participated

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in a

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charity team. I made

hand crafts

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handcrafts

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, and they sold them for me,

then

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all the money gave to a school in a poor village north of Iran. I felt amazing at that time, and

also

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found a lot of reliable friends

from

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show examples

the team. Two of them now are working in my current company, which are valuable asset to me.

Thus

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, I believe that the

students

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should place a lot of importance on different

activities

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. Working in a constantly changing world

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apply

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has needed a variety of

skills

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such

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as problem-solving

skills

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, critical thinking

skills

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, and so on. The

students

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have the

opportunities

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opportunity

show examples

to experience more than others time in their

life

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lives

show examples

. Music and

theater

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theatre

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performances, social

avtivities

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activities

, sports competitions and a lot of other

activities

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are

organizing

Wrong verb form

organised

show examples

students

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in the

univercity

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university

, and there are so much different workshops that are held by

university'

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university

show examples

officials.

For example

Linking Words

, I attended a business workshop during my studies, which I found

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

really helpful. As

Correct article usage

the

show examples

head of a small company, currently I am using those lessons in my job. I think

such

Linking Words

activities

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are crucial for all of the

students

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. In conclusion,

althogh

Correct your spelling

although

some

students

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think they should just

focous

Correct your spelling

focus

on their studies, I think it is essential that they participate

different

Change preposition

in different

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

like sports

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and music groups.

This

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improve

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improves

show examples

a majority of

skills

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which will be really helpful in the future.

Submitted by rozakoohvand on Sun Nov 10 2024

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grammar

Try to proofread your essay to eliminate spelling errors (e.g., 'essenital' should be 'essential', 'avriety' should be 'variety').

content

Ensure all main points are developed equally. The second main point about diverse skills could be expanded for better balance.

coherence

Work on sentence structures to avoid overly complex or fragmented sentences, which can cause confusion.

structure

Organize your ideas clearly at the beginning of each paragraph with topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.

structure

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which summarize the main points effectively.

content

Specific examples, such as personal experiences with a charity team and a business workshop, enhance the argument and provide relevance.

task response

The essay maintains a clear position throughout, supporting the importance of engaging in activities beyond academic studies.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Nowadays, full-time university students tend to focus on their studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.

In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?