IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The plans show an office in a university in 2005 and the same office now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #office #university #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps highlight the data about the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 university from 2005 until
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 days.
Overall
, the area has been improved with several new equipment for workers and a rearrangement of furniture. As shown in the maps, only one room in the upper left corner hasn't changed.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the number of filing cabinets has decreased from five to three. There are generally fewer walls and doors around the office.
For example
, the amount of doorways has fallen from three to one.
Moreover
, the place became more comfortable. They have a new big table that was assembled from some desks.
Armchairswith
Correct your spelling
Armchairs with
Armchair with
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 sofa and a table make a functional corner for work. Next to
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
 there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a coffee machine and a water cooler.
Subsequently
, a noticeboard was moved to
this
 part of
area
Add an article
the area
show examples
 too.
However
, in front of
these
Change the determiner
this equipment
show examples
equipment
Add a comma
equipment,
show examples
 a photocopier and some of the cases kept their places to
this
 day.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly organize your ideas into paragraphs with an introduction and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your essay more easily.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all comparisons and descriptions are clearly and logically connected to provide a coherent argument.
task achievement
Ensure you cover all parts of the task and provide a fuller response with relevant examples to improve task achievement.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on specific examples and points to comprehensively cover the task.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the area has been improved with several new equipment for workers and a rearrangement of furniture. This sentence effectively provides a general overview of the maps.
task achievement
You identified key changes between the two maps and described these changes effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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